Mass Effect: The Heart Wants
by MindSurfing
Summary: Shepard thought he had buried his hurt feelings after the woman he thought he loved, Liara T'Soni, had effectively rejected him on Ilium. Now she had contacted him asking for his help in a life or death situation. Shepard would rather face a Reaper than the tangle of emotions that resurfaced. Of course he would help Liara and in the process find out where his true feelings lay.
1. Chapter 1

Shepard struggles with an issue he can't shoot or punch his way around; relationships. It takes place prior to the events of Lair of the Shadow Broker during Mass Effect 2. I do not own these characters and appreciate those at Bioware who originally created them.

* * *

Chapter One – Not So Healed

Commander John Shepard sat at his private computer in his cabin aboard the Normandy and stared. He reached again to type a response to the e-mail he had received, but ended up clenching his fist and pounding it down on his thigh. His emotions and thoughts were roiling. He worked to slow his thoughts, calm his breathing and found himself rereading the brief e-mail he had already read multiple times.

 _Dear John, A situation has occurred and I need your help in a life or death matter. I need you to return to Ilium immediately if you are able. I can't say more. Please contact me to let me know if you can help me. Liara._

Even though the e-mail contained very little, certainly nothing of her emotions, reading Liara's words sent Shepard into a daydream. He began fantasizing about their next reunion and how _this_ time it would be wonderful, before ruthlessly smashing those feelings down into a corner of his heart, shoving them back into the grave they had crawled from. He ignored the butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart skipped and his breathing got shallower at the thought of her. He ignored those feelings until he realized he wasn't ignoring them, so he refocused on ignoring them.

Shepard stood up, realizing he was going around in circles. He needed to move, he needed action or his unruly heart would keep dredging up the tangled knot of his feelings, no matter what his brain tried to tell him. Whatever else the e-mail might or might not mean, it was clear that Liara was in some kind of trouble. That she needed him. "She needs me", he thought to himself. The feelings he had freshly locked away threatened to burst free again. He quickly typed into the reply box "I'm on my way" and pressed send. Action had always been a good cure for too much thinking.

Shepard crossed to the elevator that would take him to deck two. He wanted to be sure they got on their way to Ilium immediately and he didn't want to sit alone with his thoughts and feelings. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for the elevator to complete its short journey.

As the elevator door hissed open he strode across the deck toward the bow of the ship. The Cerberus crew seemed to fall away, clearing space to let him pass. He wanted to speak to his pilot, Joker, personally to ensure he understood the importance of reaching Ilium quickly.

Shepard passed through another door into the cockpit of the Normandy. Joker turned his flight chair to face Shepard so they could more easily converse. "Yo, Commander," Joker began jovially, but paused as he fully faced Shepard, becoming more cautious. "Is there, uh, anything I can do for you, Commander?"

"Yes, Joker. We're heading for Ilium. It's important that we get there quickly."

Joker again probed cautiously. "So. Are we needing some supplies then? Maybe some repairs? Shopping for fish?"

"Liara just contacted me. She's run into some trouble on Ilium and it looks like she needs some backup she can trust."

Joker was quiet. "Umm…of course, Commander. I'll set course. " Joker seemed to think for a few moments before taking a breath and bringing what he was thinking out into the open. "You know, Sir, maybe you should, you know, talk with someone before we get to Ilium. You know?"

Shepard had been standing stiffly, staring out the viewports. His head now shifted slowly until his eyes had locked on Joker's. "About…what…Joker?"

Having already opened the topic, Joker pressed ahead, clearly apprehensive about what response he might get. "Well, Sir, it's been a while since our last visit to Ilium and you didn't seem too happy about how things went with Liara during that visit. I don't know what all is going on, but whatever the reason for this visit, you're going to want a cool head."

Shepard took a step closer to Joker. He was looming over the seated pilot, staring hard at him. "I don't know what you're talking about, Joker. I was fine after our first trip to Ilium. Just because things didn't go exactly as planned doesn't mean there was a problem. I was fine after that visit. I am fine."

Shepard had started to turn away, conversation done, but Joker continued. "No, Commander. You weren't fine. You were calm, but not like calm calm. You were scary calm. And it was scary to be around you."

Shepard gritted his teeth. His fists clenched and unclenched. "I am fine, Joker. I…am…perfectly…calm."

"Yeah. Just like you are now. That was how you were before. Everything looks fine on the outside. Like a bomb about to explode. You're scaring me right now, Commander. And we're just on the ship, having a chat about Ilium and Liara. How are you going to be when you're standing in front of her?"

"I WILL BE…" Shepard had been intending to say 'fine', but what Joker was saying finally got past his emotions to his brain. He heard his voice climbing, felt himself shifting into a more aggressive stance. He stopped himself, closing his eyes. He shifted his jaw to unclench his teeth and took a breath, purposely relaxing his shoulders, his clenched fists. He took one more breath and opened his eyes. Joker's expression was that of someone confronting a rabid dog, which Shepard realized was sadly closer to the truth than he would like. He asked, with genuine calm this time, "How long will it take us to get to Ilium?"

Joker eyed Shepard, not daring to interject his usual brand of humor. "With travel to the relay and then from the relay to Ilium, about four hours, Commander."

"Thank you, Joker. That should give me time to talk to someone before we arrive. Thank you for your understanding, Joker. I apologize for any…volatility. I will try to be aware of your concerns in the future."

Joker visibly relaxed and blew out a breath. "It's okay sir. All the bad guys you fight are easy, it's just aim and shoot. Relationships are hard. Hell, with everything going on with me I doubt I'll even have the opportunity to screw up a relationship. I'll head us toward Ilium now, Sir."

Shepard was sure Joker didn't mean to imply that he had screwed up his relationship with Liara. Maybe he heard it that way because deep down he believed he had indeed somehow done exactly that. Or she had. He needed to get his head on straight before reaching Ilium, especially if Liara really was in some kind of danger. He turned and walked away from Joker and into the Normandy trying to think with whom he would be comfortable discussing his love life, or lack thereof.

* * *

Shepard sat at his desk in his private quarters. Across from him sat his yeoman, Kelly Chambers. While she was ostensibly assigned to the Normandy to manage his schedule and alert him to situations needing his attention, in reality her duties also included monitoring the mental health of the crew and, when necessary, providing recommendations and treatment. That included treatment of one Commander John Shepard if necessary. Shepard had never expected to ever find himself sitting across from his yeoman with her acting as his psychologist, but here they both were.

Kelly Chambers was smiling pleasantly. "Thank you for coming to me, Shepard. With the stresses you are under I would imagine there are times you need to vent some thoughts and feelings. I want you to know I am always available to address your needs." She smiled again, waiting for Shepard to respond.

"In fairness, Yeoman Chambers, I should let you know that I was hesitant to speak with you."

"Oh, please, Shepard. Call me Kelly. If you are having a personal issue, whom you choose to talk with says a lot about whom you trust. I hope that you have come to see me as someone you can confide in. Can I ask what it was that caused you to hesitate to meet with me?"

Shepard pursed his lips in thought. "Well, for one, it can be difficult to talk about personal issues with someone who is as naturally flirtatious as you have been with me. It makes our relationship feel…less professional and more personal. Not what I would expect when talking with a psychologist. That's at least partly my fault for acting that way myself when we first met. I apologize for that."

Shepard watched as Chambers flirtatiousness dissolved to be replaced by a more clinical professionalism. "No apology is necessary on your part, Commander. I understand your concern. Our previous conversations have had a relaxed tone. You described me as 'a very loving person' and I would have to say that is true. That can come across as flirtatious. Your willingness to communicate allows us to set a new tone, as of now. Were there any other concerns?"

"Well, you were hand picked by The Illusive Man for this mission. I have no doubt you are well trained, but ultimately you work for Cerberus. I haven't always been on friendly terms with Cerberus and we may be enemies again in the future. If so, I would rather not give The Illusive Man any more insight into my thinking than he already has. Since you are Cerberus I am concerned that you would be reporting things directly back to him."

Chambers looked more serious at this. She thought for several seconds before responding. "I see your concern, Commander. It is difficult for you to trust me when I'm part of an organization headed by a man you clearly distrust. While I do file reports on the status of the crew, I can do this without revealing details regarding the concerns that you may discuss with me. My oaths and my personal ethics demand that I maintain the confidentiality of my clients. I can't offer any more assurance than that, Commander."

Shepard leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped. He stared hard at his yeoman for any sign of lying. He appeared to come to a conclusion, relaxing his body and sighing. "Very well, Yeoman Chambers, I do have something I want to talk with you about. Something very personal."

"Of course, Commander. Whenever you're ready."

Shepard took another deep breath and looked at the ceiling, trying to think how to say what he wanted to say. "You recall when we stopped on Ilium? One of the main reasons I wanted to go there was to find Liara T'Soni. Liara joined my crew when I was chasing Saren, back before Sovereign attacked the Citadel, before we even knew the Reapers existed. We got…close, during that time." Shepard shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with exposing the details of his personal life.

"I don't want to make assumptions, Commander. What do you mean when you say 'close'?"

"We were together. Hell, I thought we were in love. Then the Collectors attacked the Normandy and I didn't make it out. I was gone over two years while Cerberus put me back together. When I woke up I was thrown into pursuit of whoever was abducting human colonies. It took weeks, but I was finally able to get to where Liara is now. On Ilium. I was picturing a big reunion, but I was nervous about where things might be at for Liara. It had only been a few weeks for me, but it had been over two years for her. I guess I expected too much."

"If I may ask, Commander, what happened during your reunion?"

"Honestly? Nowhere near what I had hoped for. She was just wrapping up a call when I arrived. She came to me, I took her in my arms, and then…"

"And then?"

"Nothing. It was like a wall came up between us. I'm not even sure we kissed. She just shook her head and stepped away. She said it was good to see me, like I had dropped by for tea." Shepard had sagged in his chair. He was staring at the floor as he described these events.

Chambers leaned forward and said in a comforting tone, "That must have been difficult, confusing. Did you have any idea what was behind that mixed reaction from her?"

"I don't know. It was like the passion she had was gone. It hurt."

"You said this was the woman you loved, though. How did you respond to that? How did you show her that your love was still strong? That you still had that passion?"

"I said, 'It's good to see you too, Liara. How are…you…doing'." Shepard had trailed off as he described his own tepid reaction. He sat, silent, for several seconds. His arms were crossed over his chest. "I was hurt. I didn't know where she was at, what she was feeling. I didn't want to push."

"Did you talk with her about this? About this wall you described?"

"She was busy. I asked her if she could just talk to me. She wouldn't at that point. She was focused on her efforts to locate the Shadow Broker. She asked me to do some hacking to help her out, then paid me like another servant."

"So you refused the payment?"

"No. I took the credits. We certainly needed them. She paid me again when I helped her identify one of the Shadow Broker's spies for elimination. Turned out to be her own assistant. Seemed like she didn't have anyone around her she could trust. The one person there she did trust turned out to be working for her worst enemy."

Kelly looked over her steepled fingers. "It sounds like she has been living in a world of secrets and lies, not sure who she could trust. So she turned to you, putting complete trust in you after you had been gone for two years."

Shepard hands tightened on his thighs and his shoulders tensed. "I get what you're saying, but I don't agree with the point. She told me that she was the one that recovered my body and gave me to Cerberus. She said they told her they were going to rebuild me. Out of everyone, EVERYONE, I had lost, she was the one that knew I could come back. She knew I could come back and she wasn't there for me. She thought I would be angry at her for letting Cerberus revive me. Does that make any sense? She was so focused on helping some friend who the Shadow Broker captured that she had no time for me. Said she owed him her life. Do you have any idea how many times we saved each other's lives when we were chasing Saren? I ordered her to leave the Normandy, to leave me, when the Collectors attacked. Maybe she took the order a little too literally." The words had spilled out of Shepard in a wave of angry bitterness. He could feel his pride demanding he cast the blame elsewhere, especially at Liara.

"How do you know when you love someone, Commander?"

Shepard was taken off guard by the question, responding with an eloquent "Huh?"

"You said you thought you were in love. How do _you_ know when you love someone?"

He was still riding the wave of his anger and it took him some moments to shift gears. "Well, you care about that person. You would do anything for them. You're there for them, no matter what."

"Are there other ways people might express feelings of love?"

Shepard cocked his head to the side with a slight grimace. "I…guess so. Where are you going with this, Chambers?"

"I am simply suggesting that you and Liara formed your relationship under very intense circumstances. Passion can feel like love, for a while at least. But if two people express their love, experience love, in different ways then time and distance can cool the passion and expose incompatibility. You seem to express and feel love through being there for the other person, but it was weeks before you tried to reach Liara. You said if you love someone you're there for them, 'no matter what'."

Shepard shifted uneasily in his chair. "We were on multiple classified operations. I couldn't go sending love letters out in the middle of that."

"If you say so, Commander. For her part, perhaps Liara's perception of what it means to be in love differs from yours. Perhaps you both sensed this and pulled away from each other, at least with regard to your physical relationship."

"I'm…I'm going to have to think about that." Shepard was quiet now, staring at nothing as he was focused on the chaos roiling in his mind and emotions.

"Of course. But when you're ready, you really should try to talk with Liara about where you're at with this. Maybe that desire for a relationship is still there. Only you and she can decide that. I would also recommend that you ask yourself, 'Who am I there for?' and 'Who has been there for me?' The answers to those questions could tell you a lot about where your true feelings lie."

Shepard gave a half-smile. "Garrus said something similar when I asked his advice. He said I should be asking Liara these questions. I think he was trying to avoid answering the question."

"Ouch. So I really wasn't at the top of your list of people to talk with."

"Well, you were above Jack, so there's that." Shepard smiled again, genuinely, at how Jack would likely have responded to his request for advice.

Chambers smiled as well. "Consider what I've said, Commander. I hope it was of help to you, but ultimately only you can decide how you feel and what you do about it."

"I will, Chambers. You've given me a lot to consider before we reach Ilium. Thank you. I need some time to process what we've talked about. I'll walk you to the elevator."

Chambers rose to her feet and crossed the room at Shepard's side. She entered the elevator and turned back to face Shepard. "You're welcome, Commander. It's my pleasure to be of assistance. If there is anything else I can do, please let me know."

Kelly Chambers smiled and nodded at Shepard as the elevator door closed and she began her brief descent to deck two. The smile almost immediately vanished from her face and she stood in thought, arms crossed, staring hard at nothing.

"Shit," she mumbled quietly to herself. She took her assignments very seriously. When Shepard had returned from Ilium wounded by his encounter with Liara she had seen an opportunity. She presented herself as a support, a source of positive energy that could balance the death and destruction and loss that was his usual daily fare. For a time, it seemed to be working. They had a private dinner together and seemed to be forming a connection. The Illusive Man refused to implant a control device in Shepard, but there are many ways to establish control. But she had miscalculated somewhere and The Illusive Man did not like miscalculations. Shepard had made it clear that he was now thinking of her in a professional capacity. Any hope of influencing him through an intimate relationship was gone and she was stuck feeding his fish. Pushing it now would only alienate Shepard. So she would have to look for other ways to influence the situation, if not as a lover, then as a confidante. She would have to keep an eye on how this visit to Ilium unfolded. She would worry about that later. Right now she needed to draft a detailed report of the situation for The Illusive Man.


	2. Chapter 2 - Misconnections

Chapter 2 – Misconnections

"Nos Astra space control. This is the Normandy requesting landing vectors and a berth. Please respond." In the forward viewport the Asari world of Ilium grew larger. Joker was maneuvering to descend to the planetary capital of Nos Astra, the city where Shepard would find Liara T'Soni. Shepard stood behind Joker's flight chair, watching the approach, worrying about what danger Liara could be facing.

Several seconds passed before there was a response. "Normandy, we have you on our scanners. You are not on our list of scheduled arrivals. Hold your current position. We will notify you when you may proceed to docking berth 327 on the assigned vector. Please note, you will be liable for appropriate docking fees upon your arrival."

Joker glanced up at Commander Shepard and gave a wry half-smile. "Thank you Nos Astra. We will approach on your signal." Joker flipped off the comm and turned fully to Shepard. "What? No fanfare this time? Last trip they rolled out the red carpet. Our fees were paid and everything. What gives, Commander?"

Shepard looked out the viewport in thought. If Liara had not alerted Nos Astra control of their arrival nor paid their docking fees as she had done previously then it likely meant she didn't want to tip anyone to their arrival prematurely. Not that they could conceal their arrival short of activating the stealth systems, which would ultimately cause more problems than it solved. "We're just tourists, Joker. No fanfare, no free rides. We follow the bureaucracy to the letter. Let me know when we're about to land. I need to make some preparations."

"Aye, aye, Commander."

Shepard walked from the cockpit, heading for the rear of the CIC. He didn't have much information, only Liara's vague statement that it was a life or death situation. Given that Liara did not want to prematurely reveal their arrival it made sense to take a small group to investigate what trouble she had found herself in. And there was one person Shepard immediately thought would be invaluable to have along.

Shepard entered the research laboratory of Mordin Solus. The Salarian was hard at work with one of the many projects he seemed to work on simultaneously. He glanced up as Shepard entered. "Shepard. Always good to see you. Is this a social call or related to our approach to Ilium?"

Shepard was not surprised that Mordin had noticed their destination. He seemed to track everything at once, processing problems and finding solutions at a speed the Geth might envy. It was one of the reasons Shepard wanted him along. With so little information he would need rapid analysis of what information they did get. Plus, as a skilled medical doctor, Mordin might be necessary should this life or death situation live up to its name.

"It's both, Mordin. I always enjoy talking with you, but I would like your help when we arrive at Nos Astra. Liara is having a bit of difficulty and your skills may be helpful in resolving it."

"Happy to help, Shepard. Which skills are you referring to? Medical? Analytical? Scientific? Social? Counseling? Musical? Combat? All are at your disposal."

Shepard knew Mordin was a multi-talented individual, though he didn't see himself going to him for relationship advice. Salarians processed emotions quite differently and much more rapidly than was typical for humans. Mordin always seemed somewhat nonplussed that other species needed longer than an elevator ride to work through their issues. Mordin knew this and likely included the counseling remark as a way to let Shepard know he understood there were personal issues going on as well. "Possibly most of the above, Mordin, wait…musical?"

"Have performed in a number of musicals for the community theater as well as some amateur work. Would be happy to demonstrate when time permits."

"I would be interested to see that, Mordin," Shepard stated with genuine sincerity. "When we land on Nos Astra I want you to be prepared to deal with a variety of medical possibilities as well as be prepared for combat. We should be landing soon."

"Am already prepared, Shepard. Signal when you are ready to disembark and I will meet you at the airlock. Will finish this experiment in the meantime. Curious as to evolutionary path leading to development of the four eyed configuration found in Protheans and Batarians. Advantages do not seem to outweigh the cost in energy and increased complexity as evidenced by the preponderance of evolved binocular vision across species and environments. Will let you know results of my research if you are interested."

"Yeah, Mordin, yeah. You do that. I'll see you at the airlock." Shepard was no scientist. He had followed some of what Mordin had said, but was also sure that Mordin had simplified his description as much as he was able. Shepard retreated from the room, shifting gears back to the problem at hand. He wanted to include one more person in his squad that would meet with Liara. He had always favored teams of three for mutual support, speed, and versatility.

Shepard had also asked for Mordin's help because Mordin was not a part of Cerberus. Until he knew what danger Liara was facing, he wanted to keep Cerberus and their leader as much as possible out of his and Liara's business. That meant Jacob and Miranda were off the table. It also meant that Zaeed wasn't an option. While he wasn't a member of Cerberus, he was getting paid by them. Plus, Shepard had been delaying helping Zaeed with his mission on Zorya. He might not appreciate that they were going out of their way to help Liara while he continued to wait for his promised assistance. Jack certainly wasn't Cerberus and she was a powerful ally given her biotic strength. But she was also a serious loose cannon. She would also likely laugh her ass off at Shepard's relationship issues, possibly right as he was trying to talk with Liara.

Shepard approached the elevator at the back of the CIC. He intended to go to the crew deck. Possibly to talk with Garrus. Garrus was absolutely reliable. It had been an enormous relief to have him on the ship, mostly alive and well after his ordeal on Omega. But Garrus and he strongly overlapped on skills. Shepard wanted to cover his bases in case any computer or mechanical skills were needed. He had one more non-Cerberus person currently aboard. The elevator door opened and it was as if his thoughts had summoned her into existence.

Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nearly ran into Shepard as she stepped from the newly arrived elevator. "Shepard. I was just coming to see you. I ran into Kelly down in the mess and she mentioned we were going to be landing on Ilium. She wouldn't give me any details, but it sounded like you might need some help. I'm happy to help with anything and it would give me a chance to pick up some new software and equipment for my suit. I certainly owe you after all you did to help me back on the migrant fleet."

Shepard smiled as he remembered shouting down the Quarian Admirals who had been willing to sacrifice Tali as a pawn in their political games. Worse, they had used her father's death as part of their maneuvering, heedless of the impact on her. Their betrayal of her had pissed him off spectacularly and he had used that anger to fuel a verbal assault that left them wallowing in their shame and embarrassment. She had been a part of his crew since he helped her with her mission on Haestrom. He had never doubted her loyalty, but his actions had cemented that loyalty. She was his friend, there for him when so many others had vanished or even turned against him.

"Are you okay, Shepard? I said I would be happy to help if you need me on Ilium."

Shepard shook his head, realizing his reminiscing had taken longer than he realized. "Sorry, Tali. I've got a lot on my mind. I'm not sure yet what we might be getting into on Ilium, but I'd appreciate your help. We're going to Nos Astra, so we can't go in full combat gear, but I'd recommend being discreetly prepared for trouble."

Tali cocked her head in what Shepard had learned was a smile. She gestured with her hand, encompassing her suit from head to toes. "I told you on the Alarei that you'd be surprised what we can fit in the pockets of these suits."

It made Shepard feel surprisingly good to see Tali joking about what she had said on the Alarei. It was the ship where her father had been killed. "You are always surprising to me, Tali. Get your equipment together and meet me at the airlock. We'll be landing shortly and we'll need to move out right away."

* * *

Less than a half hour later the Normandy was docked in the Nos Astra spaceport. Shepard led Tali and Mordin along the bustling walkways. They were eyed by the Nos Astra port authorities, but Shepard's Spectre status was known to them from their previous visit, so he would be permitted to discreetly carry his sidearm. As long as he didn't cause any difficulties, they would most likely not interfere with him. Besides, he was simply here to do some shopping with some of his crew. Nothing to see here.

Shepard made a few glances at the kiosks they were passing, but one thought was pushing its way more and more to the forefront of his mind. He was about to see Liara again. It had to go better this time. He would do better. It felt like his heart was skipping beats and his butterflies had become a swarm. He almost hoped assassins would leap out and attack him to give him a target for his nervous energy.

Shepard felt a touch on his arm. "Are you okay, Shepard? You're bouncing around more than Mordin."

Shepard realized she was right. His emotional agitation was affecting him physically. Worse, it was distracting for them. If those wished for assassins were to appear he might be too distracted to deal with it. "I'm okay, Tali. I'm just…it's just…well, I'm going to see Liara."

"Ah. I thought it might be that. I heard she was here on Ilium. Hordes of mercenaries? No problem. Dozens of Geth troops and a Colossus? Pffft." Tali stepped in front of Shepard. "This," she gently placed her hand over his heart, "is the only thing I've ever seen cause you hesitation. You're the same good man you were when you helped me finish my pilgrimage. I know that. She'll see that too. And we're here for you, no matter what." Tali had turned to gesture at Mordin, but he was not where she expected. The two of them scanned the area and realized he had fallen behind and was now serenading a group of children and parents. As they approached they heard Mordin call out, "And now the post-transition metals!"

Shepard stepped in and interrupted. "Sorry folks, the science show is over for now. Mister Wizard has another engagement he has to get to. Have a good day everyone." Shepard hustled Mordin along the walkway toward their destination. He heard real cries of disappointment in their wake suggesting Mordin had been accurate about his entertainment skills.

Shepard shook his head as they walked away, as bemused as ever by Mordin. "I'm surprised that people would find the elements so entertaining."

"There is a great deal of amusement and diversion to be found in science, Shepard. Perhaps you just need to find the right group of people with whom to enjoy it."

Shepard found it very unlikely that he would ever find himself in a group enjoying a discussion of the periodic table, but the universe had surprised him before. Plenty of times in fact. He conceded the point to Mordin with a nod and a smile. If nothing else, Tali and Mordin had helped distract him from his nervousness, each in their own way. They had reached the door to Liara's office. There was no secretary to greet them. Perhaps Liara had not replaced her previous secretary whom she terminated, in every sense of the word, when she learned she was spying for the Shadow Broker.

"Everybody ready." They were no longer on the walkway and were concealed from any casual observation. Shepard had drawn his Carnifex pistol. He knew they were unlikely to run into synthetics on Ilium, other than the ubiquitous and nearly useless Loki security mechs, so he had prepared incendiary rounds. Tali activated a defense drone and Mordin prepared his own various technical devices. Shepard activated the door, his heart thumping in his ears not due to any possible dangers, but because he expected to find Liara on the other side of the door. What he found was an empty room.

The three of them entered the room cautiously. The office looked unchanged from Shepard's last visit. He quickly pushed away those thoughts and focused on what was before him now. There was a portable computer closed on the desk. Shepard crossed the room and, finding nothing else amiss, approached the computer. He flipped it open and found that it appeared to be powered down. "I don't see any sign of her and this computer doesn't appear to be on. Could you give me a hand here, Tali?"

Moments after speaking those words, Shepard saw a panel at the top of the screen begin flashing green. "Tali, what is going on with this computer? It just activated something."

Tali stepped over to the computer and examined the hardware. "The main system is off for the moment. This appears to be some sort of optical scanner. I think it's a retina scanner. We don't really use them on the Migrant Fleet, for obvious reasons, but I've seen them before. It seems like it activated after you spoke, so maybe it was triggered by voice recognition. I think you need to look into the light here, Shepard."

Shepard's brow furrowed in suspicion. "How would Liara have a template of my retina to use for a scan?" Tali just shrugged. Shepard leaned down and looked into the scanner with his right eye. After a few seconds there was an audible beep. The screen activated and a question appeared. A flashing cursor waited for Shepard's reply.

"How much security do we have to go through to activate this?" Shepard exclaimed in frustration. He read the question to himself. "This is getting personal. This seems like a question only Liara would know to ask, but can we be sure this computer isn't collecting information for someone else?"

Tali leaned over the computer to see if she could determine who might be able to access the information. She looked at the question, which read, "Who interrupted our first kiss?" Tali cleared her throat and turned her head away for a moment. She turned back and examined the computer in more detail, working to access its functions through her omni-tool.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. The security on this computer is extensive. It would take me time to hack it without damaging the data. Do you want me to try?"

"No. Given how much security there is here I have to assume the situation is serious. Given the question, I'm going to trust that this came from Liara and isn't some effort by a third party to gather information." Shepard leaned over the haptic keypad and entered 'Joker'. A second question appeared. Shepard slammed his fist on the desk. "Dammit. I feel like I'm just jumping through hoops here." Again, he thought before taking a deep breath. He read the question silently. "What nickname did my mother call me as she was dying?"

"Shit," Shepard thought to himself. That was an intensely personal memory to pull out for a security check. Maybe it showed how desperate Liara was about protecting herself. Or maybe it showed just how much she had changed in the past two years. Or maybe both. Shepard thought back through the painful aftermath of the battle on Noveria. After several seconds he leaned over and entered 'Little Wing'.

Finally, Liara's face appeared in the computer screen. Shepard's frustration vanished and he felt his heart skip and the familiar butterflies in his stomach. "Shepard. Thank the goddess you made it."

"Liara. That was a crazy amount of security to reach you. What is going on? Why aren't you here?"

"I don't have a lot of time, Shepard. I've masked this signal as best I can, but it's likely there are trace programs running right now. I'm in deep trouble, Shepard. After I killed the Shadow Broker's spy, Nyxeris, I stepped up my efforts to locate the Shadow Broker and reach my friend. I must have gotten a bit too close, because my sources indicated one of his operatives has arrived on planet to…deal with me."

"Can you tell me who this operative is, Liara?"

"When you were helping me before you no doubt noticed how the Shadow Broker prefers to designate his operatives by what their primary task is. 'The Trader', 'The Smuggler', 'The Observer'. This operative is known as 'The Exterminator'. He or she has a reputation for subtlety and efficiency. For using a myriad of methods to take out targets. Weapons, explosives, and toxins to name a few. The moment the Exterminator landed most of my contacts and sources dried up. The casinos immediately began posting odds on how long I might survive, not if I would, but how long I would. Everyone in Nos Astra expects me to be dead very soon. I had to move fast just to get to a safe location to wait for you. Ilium is an information planet. Too many people are afraid of upsetting the Shadow Broker. I won't be safe now until I take him down. I can't show myself though until you deal with his agent. That should convince a few people I have resources of my own and maybe even get me closer to the Shadow Broker."

Was that all this was? Liara had pushed things right up to and over the edge and now she was calling on him to clean things up, to be her 'Exterminator'. Having him on call gave her credibility and clout. If he took down a feared operative then it proved Liara had resources of her own, like on Omega when he had served as Krantt to the Patriarch. Shepard suppressed a rising sense of resentment. He hoped he was misinterpreting the situation. "Can you tell me where this Exterminator is or give me any idea what he or she looks like?"

"I don't have those details, Shepard. No one was certain which arrival was the Exterminator and as I said, most of my sources dried up when word of his or her arrival spread. I was able to get one piece of information. The Exterminator is reportedly using a safe house well outside the city, lying low as well until I can be located, and avoiding antagonizing the local authorities. I need you to go there and take him out, or her out. Do that and I can seize the upper hand; go from being hunted back to being the hunter. Can you do that for me, Shepard?"

Shepard frowned again. "I had hoped to see you face to face, Liara. I had hoped we could talk about where things are at. Are you going to come with me to take out the Exterminator? It'll be just like old times when you were being hunted by the Geth." Part of Shepard hoped that reminding Liara of when he rescued her on Therum would remind her of the feelings that she had developed for him.

"I can't do that, Shepard. The moment I show myself someone is going to alert this assassin and then I'll just be a target. You need to get this person while we know where to look. If he's on the move, we might not see it coming. I'm sorry, Shepard, but I need you to do this without me."

Like everything else since he came back, Shepard thought to himself. He knew that wasn't fair, but he couldn't shake the feeling that things really had changed between them. That however much she still cared, or claimed to, that he was no longer a priority in her life. Two years had been a blink of an eye for him, but it had been a long time for her. He was finally starting to truly realize that and didn't care at all for the realization.

"Of course, Liara. I am here for you. I'll do what I can to take the Exterminator out. Give me the coordinates and we can take a shuttle out to the location and do what has to be done."

"Be careful, Shepard. You won't be able to take out a shuttle without filing a flight plan and I guarantee that someone will be ready to sell that information. I've told you all I can. You won't be able to reach me, but I'll be monitoring what sources of information I can still trust. I'll know if you're successful. If that happens then we can take time to talk if you want."

If I want? Shepard's gut churned. If I want? Don't you want to talk? Don't you want to figure this out? Or have you've already figured this out and you're just waiting for me to get the hint? Shepard knew he couldn't ask the questions spinning through his mind. Not now. Maybe not ever. But he was there for her. He would be her assassin, her weapon, pointed and fired to obliterate her enemies. Maybe they were friends, but they certainly weren't in love. His brain had grasped that even as his heart kicked and screamed like an angry toddler. Shepard buried his hurt feelings and his pride. Nearby, Mordin fiddled with Liara's knick-knacks while Tali focused on tapping something into her omni-tool. "I will be careful, Liara. Keep yourself safe and hopefully I can deal with this quickly. Afterward you can buy me a drink and we'll…"

"I have to go, Shepard. I've stayed on as long as I can afford. Good luck."

"…celebrate." Liara had severed the connection. Severed it clearly, if not cleanly. Shepard stood stiffly before the blank screen for several seconds, drawn inward, thinking to himself how much trying to be noble truly sucked. He turned his head at the gentle touch on his shoulder.

Tali stood close. He looked down into the glowing spots that he could see through her helmet. "That was…difficult, Shepard. I won't pretend to know how you're feeling. I just want you to know I am here for you."

Shepard reached up and took her hand in his own. "Thank you, Tali. And thank you for not pretending you didn't just see all that. I'd really rather deal with honesty right now than lying for politeness' sake." Shepard took a deep breath and willed his walls to come up. Willed himself to focus his anger and frustration on an acceptable target. He let go of Tali's hand. "Okay. We're going back to the ship to gear up. Mordin, I want you with me in case of any injuries or toxin exposure. Tali, I still may need your hacking skills and tech knowledge. I still don't want to bring any of the Cerberus personnel in on this. I don't know how The Illusive Man might try to make use of this situation. I'll send Garrus out to make a few purchases for the mission. We'll need to file a flight plan for the shuttle. We won't help Liara if we get in trouble with the law, especially if they've been paid off. They'll think twice before interfering with a Council Spectre, unless we give them an excuse."

Tali spoke up "Shepard, you heard what Liara said. If you file a flight plan for the shuttle then you'll tip off the Exterminator that we're coming."

"I don't think there's any way to avoid that, Tali. If what Liara said is true then the Exterminator has plenty of eyes in Nos Astra. I intend to give them plenty to look at."

Tali wasn't sure exactly what Shepard meant by that, but she had learned to trust his talent for finding a weak spot in a defense. She had seen him do it with the Geth many times. She had seen him do it with the Quarian admirals during her trial. She would trust him and she would stand by him whatever he was planning.

As they left the office to return to the Normandy, Shepard was stopped by Mordin. "I just wanted to say, Commander, in the interests of honesty, that I too witnessed the implosion of your relationship. Or perhaps it was an explosion. Difficult to apply terms correctly when describing emotions rather than detonations. In any event, combat will likely prove therapeutic. Hope my medical skills will not be required, but they will be available if needed. Hope my words provide reassurance and assistance in processing your emotional upheaval." Mordin smiled and passed through the office door. Shepard was never certain when Mordin was genuinely tone deaf regarding human social and emotional functioning and when he was exaggerating this as a way to help. He decided it was probably the latter since he couldn't help genuinely chuckling at Mordin's words.

* * *

Less than an hour later the Normandy briefly departed Nos Astra and flew north. Per their flight plan they launched a shuttle for the purpose of 'sight seeing' before the Normandy returned to the spaceport. The planet was hot and only sparsely populated outside the major cities. In the hills various wealthy individuals maintained estates, safe houses, and hideaways. The shuttle flew a pattern, as if exploring the area, before it eventually approached a small, blocky structure at the base of a large rock outcropping. The shuttle circled, as if sizing up the building. The structure remained silent. No response to the shuttle's presence was noted. Finally, the shuttle descended to a landing pad on the roof of the structure. The side door of the shuttle opened and Commander Shepard jumped stiffly onto the roof of the building, which was promptly obliterated in a powerful explosion. The shuttle was tossed skyward, its maneuvering thrusters torn apart by the blast. It veered out of control and crashed into the outcropping, bursting into flames before careening into the ground to lay shattered and burning among the rocks. The body of Commander Shepard was hurled away from the building to crash to the rocky ground nearly two hundred feet away.


	3. Chapter 3 - Extermination

Chapter 3 – Extermination

"Shit! I thought Liara said this guy was subtle." Shepard lowered his binoculars and watched the debris from the destroyed building, the shuttle, and his decoy rain down.

"If everyone expects you to be subtle then the most subtle thing you can do is not be subtle", Mordin replied.

Tali climbed to the top of the Hammerhead and watched the scene through her helmet optics. "I guess I can shut down these remote piloting programs. You're going to have to tell The Illusive Man that we need a new shuttle, Shepard."

"Keep those programs ready, Tali. We may still have a use for them." Shepard watched the scene below, waiting, his mind almost automatically producing possible contingencies. His plan had partially worked. The Normandy had departed the spaceport to launch the shuttle. Shepard hoped the conclusion anyone watching would draw would be that he was trying to conceal his shuttle's movements despite being required to file a flight plan. Shepard had a reputation as a leap before you look soldier, which might now help him with his own efforts at subtlety. The Normandy had launched the shuttle, but it was merely a decoy under Tali's remote control. Under the cover of the surrounding hills and mountains the Normandy had also dropped the M-44 Hammerhead. While the Hammerhead was a hover vehicle capable of jumping over obstacles with jet assisted boosts, it was not classified as an aerial vehicle and therefore did not require a registered flight plan. Technically. Ilium law was notably lax when it came to the use of military grade weapons in sparsely settled areas outside the major cities, so Shepard knew he was testing the limits of the gray areas of the law and counting on his Spectre status to make up any difference. He just needed to create enough uncertainty to keep the authorities from intervening until he could take out the Exterminator. He had the feeling that if he were successful, many of his possible legal issues would simply vanish.

He had intended to use the shuttle as a decoy. Expose any defenses with its approach and perhaps draw any defending forces out of position to allow an effective charge using the Hammerhead. He had not expected the entire building to be a trap and was grateful he had, at least this once, not simply charged in.

"What's our next move, Shepard?" Tali asked from her perch.

Shepard peered through the binoculars as the smoke and dust from the blast cleared. "There," he said, "there's our next move." Shepard pointed toward the civilian sky car that had risen from cover and was now carefully approaching the scene of destruction. "My money says those are lackeys of our target, maybe even the Exterminator himself, coming to check their handiwork. Tali, scan for any communications, let me know if you are detecting anything."

"I am picking up communications, Shepard. They are scrambled, but definitely coming from the vehicle below."

Shepard nodded, thinking. If there were transmissions going on then it was unlikely that the Exterminator was in the vehicle below. Why expose yourself when you can send cannon fodder? Shepard hoped to make that work against his target. "Mordin, can you fire the main gun on this thing?"

"Lack training in the use of naval capital ship weaponry, but have extensive training and experience with vehicle and personal weaponry from farm implements to siege cannons. I can operate the systems of this vehicle, Shepard."

"Good. Get ready to fire where I designate." Shepard reached to the pack next to him and hefted out of his gear the M-98 Widow sniper rifle he had obtained during their raid on the Collector vessel. Even with his enhanced muscles, he needed both hands to expand it and hoist it into a braced position on the rocky cover. Below, the vehicle had stopped several yards from his supposed dead body, actually a LOKI security mech wearing a spare suit of Shepard's armor. What appeared to be a Turian and a Human exited the vehicle and approached Shepard's decoy. The driver of the car remained in the vehicle with the doors open.

"Mordin, target my decoy and the two who are approaching it. It won't take them long to realize that's not me. When they reach the mech, take them out. I'll deal with the driver." Shepard had briefly considered whether they might try to take one of the lackeys alive, but he didn't want to take any chance on the Exterminator being alerted to what had happened. No, they would take them all out, right now. Shepard placed the crosshairs of the scope for a kill shot and prepared to fire.

Seconds later Shepard heard the main gun of the Hammerhead fire. A barrage of guided mini-missiles headed rapidly toward their target. Shepard gently squeezed the trigger and put a shot no larger than a grain of sand at hypersonic speed through the faceplate of the car's driver. Through his scope Shepard saw the driver spasm once, then go still. A fraction of a second later, the two lackeys looked up from Shepard's decoy in realization, just in time to be obliterated by the missile barrage.

Shepard collapsed the Widow and lugged it and his other gear to the Hammerhead. Tali and Mordin reentered the vehicle as Shepard slid into the driver's seat. The thrusters roared to life and Shepard hopped the tank over the outcropping that had mostly hidden them. He crossed the intervening ground rapidly, scanning for any additional threats. "Mordin, keep on the lookout for backup for these guys. Tali, come with me."

Shepard climbed out of the Hammerhead and dropped to the ground near the skycar. He drew his pistol, but could see from several yards away that there was no immediate need. Shepard could see that the armor of the driver was of Batarian design. The faceplate was shattered with the remaining jagged edges covered in red blood. Shepard could see that much of what had been contained by the helmet had been blasted into the back seat and window by his shot.

Tali came up beside Shepard and looked the scene over. "If you plan to have us ride in that car, Shepard, then I'm definitely calling shotgun right now." She hefted her own shotgun to emphasize this.

Shepard absentmindedly reached to stroke the stubble on his chin, but his helmet prevented this. "That was one possibility, Tali, but I don't think that's what we'll do. I want you to hack into the computer and guidance. See if you can find coordinates for where the Exterminator is really hiding. Do you need me to yank that body out of the way?"

Tali shook her head. "No, Shepard. I can take care of it from right here." She input commands into her omni-tool, hacking into the vehicles systems. A half-minute passed as Tali did her own form of battle with the computer's defenses. Shepard continued to scan for any backup.

"Okay, I'm in. There don't seem to be any coordinates for the Exterminator's location in the computer."

Of course not. Nothing was ever easy. "How about a flight plan, then? This is an aerial vehicle. If it had to file a flight plan then there should be an origin."

Tali shook her head. "Any flight plan would be filed with the Nos Astra authorities assuming they even felt the need to comply. From what Liara was saying it's likely the Exterminator spread around quite a few bribes, not to mention dropping the Shadow Broker's name. There's no data in the skycar's computer about a flight plan."

Shepard found himself leaning over Tali's shoulder to peer at her omni-tool. He quickly realized he didn't understand any of what he was looking at. He exhaled in frustration. "Are we out of luck then? I thought we would be able to find something in the computer to lead us to the Exterminator." Shepard felt desperation creeping up on him. He began to regret not taking one of the lackey's alive. He had used several tricks to get them to this point. If they were back to square one he wasn't sure he had anything else up his sleeve aside from whisking Liara off the planet. The thought was tempting. She would have to stay aboard the Normandy for safety and might very well rejoin the crew. It really would be like old times.

Shepard let that thought linger a few moments before crushing it as it deserved. Liara would never agree to run. It would mean giving up, at least in her mind, her quest to locate the Shadow Broker and rescue her friend. The idea of her falling back into his arms was a juvenile fantasy, the stuff of bodice ripping romance novels. The sooner he accepted that the sooner he could get on with living his own life. But first he had to find and deal with the Exterminator.

"Yes! Got it!" Tali exclaimed. Shepard's attention snapped back to her. "These skycars have inertial mapping. The vehicle can automatically retrace its flight path to its origin in case of emergency, like if the driver gets sick. It's an automated program. They could delete it, but they didn't think they had any reason too, if they even thought of it. I was able to overlay an aerial topographic map with the flight data and…" Tali dramatically waved her hand like a magician over her omni-tool's interface. Instead of a dove or bouquet of flowers appearing, a map of the area materialized. A flashing red dot indicated a location approximately ten miles north of where they were now standing.

Shepard leaned forward intently, looking at the location and terrain. "You found him, Tali? You can get us there?" Tali simply nodded, clearly proud of what she had accomplished. "Yes! Yes! This can still work! Thank you so much, Tali!" Shepard was feeling a heady mixture of relief and anticipation. It took a moment before he realized he had swept Tali up into a hug and her feet were currently dangling inches off the ground.

Shepard set Tali back down, gently. "I'm so sorry, Tali. My excitement got the better of me. It won't happen again. But thank you. You seem to be making it a habit to bail me out by finding out the impossible."

"No, Shepard. It's okay. I mean, it's not a problem. You're good at tactics, I'm good at this. I'm just glad I could help. I'll do whatever I can to help you, Shepard." Tali stood, wringing her hands with obvious nervousness. Dammit, Shepard thought to himself. He hadn't meant to startle her. He had just been so grateful. It seemed like she spent an inordinate amount of time just making him feel better. He hoped she wasn't resentful of that.

Mordin cleared his throat from his position at the Hammerhead's scanners. "Perhaps you can express your appreciation later, Shepard. Should not delay longer unless you hope to lure the Exterminator's minions here a few at a time. Do not personally consider that to be a viable plan."

Shepard knew Mordin was right. He needed to get his head in the game. "Tali, I want you to take remote control of that skycar. We'll leave the driver in his seat. We'll all board the Hammerhead and you remotely pilot it back to where it came from."

"Shepard," Mordin interjected. "The Exterminator's men likely had confirmation codes for their return. Without these the skycar will not be able to approach without meeting some form of countermeasures."

"I know, Mordin. In fact, I'm counting on it. We'll stay in cover the best we can and use the skycar, if possible, as a diversion. It worked with the shuttle, sort of, so I think it's our best bet to make a surprise approach to the Exterminator's home base. You're right that we need to get going, so make any further suggestions as we go."

"Shepard. I can set up a remote video feed as well. We'll be able to get a view from the skycar so that we don't have to show ourselves until we're ready. It should also give us a view of any defenses. One more moment while I make sure they can't take control of the skycar back from me." Tali took a small remote video camera from her equipment and attached it to the dashboard of the skycar. A few commands from her omni-tool later and she nodded to Shepard that everything was ready. The skycar lifted away while the Hammerhead followed at a distance.

It took only a handful of minutes for the Hammerhead to negotiate the hilly terrain. Tali watched her vid display as they maneuvered behind the low hills, staying hidden. The building that appeared on the display was quite similar to the one that had served as a trap. A squat structure with one visible level as well as a pair of smaller structures on the roof. It was built into the base of a rocky outcropping. They angled to approach the structure from behind low hills to the east as the skycar approached from the south. Shepard hoped they had been able to maintain sufficient cover to hide their presence.

"The skycar is receiving communications, Shepard. I believe they are asking for a recognition code."

"Send them back a garbled transmission from the skycar. Hopefully, they'll think the communications aren't working and let us get the skycar closer."

Tali sent the garbled transmission and almost immediately two smaller roof structures opened to reveal anti-aircraft weapons. "Shit." Shepard stated matter-of-factly as he watched Tali's display. "They didn't buy that at all. Evade the best you can, Tali, and try to bring the skycar in from the west as if you were trying to use one anti-aircraft gun to screen against the other."

"I'll do what I can, Shepard, but this isn't a gunship." Tali dove the vehicle low and angled to the west, trying to use some of the ground cover to confuse the guns and protect the skycar as long as possible. The guns began firing high velocity slugs. A hit would tear the skycar apart. Tali slewed the vehicle up, down, pulled off a rather impressive barrel roll, then had to struggle to recover as a slug ripped through the windshield and tore the canopy from the skycar. Sparks and smoke were visibly trailing from the vehicle. Had anyone living remained in the vehicle they would most certainly be dead. Unfortunately, the hit destroyed their remote camera leaving Tali to fly the skycar blind. Unable to effectively direct the vehicle, the anti-aircraft weapons zeroed in and sent slugs tearing through the vehicle. The burning skycar augered into the rocks, a pillar of smoke marking its resting place. Shepard took this as his cue.

The Hammerhead boosted up and over the intervening rocks into the clear terrain leading to the structure. The guns which had been tracking the skycar almost immediately began to swivel to come to bear on this new target.

Shepard leaned on the boosters, trying to cross the intervening space before the guns could traverse and fire on the Hammerhead. He had a good view of the side of the building as they approached. There were two small windows, widely spaced, but no apparent door. "Mordin, target the window on the right of the building and do as much damage to the wall as you can."

"Not the defense guns, Shepard?"

"No. We need a way in. If we spend too much time bouncing around sparring with the defenses they'll have time to prepare for us inside. That window will be the weakest point."

Mordin began firing into the oncoming wall, hitting the window and the wall around it, fracturing the permacrete structure outwards from the window corners. Shepard held a steady course, using the nearer defense gun to screen the farther one. A loud clanging impacts began as slugs struck the hull of the Hammerhead. Almost immediately alarms began to sound indicating damage. Shepard swore under his breath at the fragility of the vehicle even as he used its speed to cross the last of the distance. Shepard spun the vehicle one hundred eighty degrees and used the tail section as a battering ram, shattering the damaged wall inward. More alarms wailed.

With the Hammerhead wedged into the wall of the building the defense guns could no longer angle to fire on the vehicle. Wasting no time, Shepard opened the rear hatch and leapt into the interior of the building, followed by Tali and Mordin.

The trio found themselves in what appeared to be a large, empty bathroom area. Their forced entry had shattered the sink and toilet fixtures that had been along the wall. Water from the damaged pipes sprayed into the air and covered the floor. There was a single, closed door leading from the room. "We don't know how many guards the Exterminator has here, so watch your backs, and mine. It's unlikely an assassin is traveling with an army, but we can't assume anything. We don't know which one is the primary target, so we take them all out. Tali, give me a drone on the other side of this door."

Tali stepped near the door and triggered a surge of electromagnetic energy on the opposite side. This coalesced into a 'hard light' device capable of processing environmental data and sending it by those same electromagnetic pulses back to Tali's omni-tool. "There's a hallway going straight or left, Shepard. To the left appears to be some sort of living area. Straight leads down a hallway to a stairway going down. There's a door midway down the hallway on the left. Two guards just came into view near the staircase."

"Send the drone at them. If it makes if to them, detonate it. I'll go through the door while they're distracted. Mordin, provide cover on the hallway to the left. Go!" Shepard wasted no time bursting through the door into the hallway. He jumped to the cover provided by the corner. Mordin jumped past him and pointed his submachine gun toward the living area. From the head of the staircase two men fired into the drone with assault rifles, detonating it in a burst of electrical energy before it could reach them.

Shepard used the blast to mask the two grenades he hurled the length of the hallway. The grenades bounced near the pair of guards, who tried to dive away from the imminent detonation. Shepard cursed as he saw shields flare as they were caught in the blast. The Exterminator's men were prepared for combat.

Shepard decided to press the attack, to try to overwhelm the guards ahead of him and hopefully staying ahead of anyone that might try to flank them from the living area. "Hold the corner, Mordin. Tali, with me." Shepard surged forward directing suppressive fire down the hallway. He reached the door Tali had described as more guards appeared at the staircase ahead.

"Dammit, distract them and follow me, Tali." The guards ahead had appeared more quickly than he had hoped attesting to their readiness. Tali materialized a drone in their midst as they opened fire. The drone began discharging bursts of electrical energy. Shepard hoped the attacks would spoil the guards' aim, but the blue flashes of his and Tali's shields made it clear that it wasn't doing enough to make them completely miss in the narrow hallway.

Shepard threw his full weight against the door to his left, his augmented muscles proving to be more than the sturdy door could handle. He burst into the room on the other side of the door, expecting an attack. Shepard was not disappointed. A guard lay in wait to the side of the door. He raised his heavy pistol to fire, but Shepard was ready. His adrenaline was up now and he reacted with instincts and skills honed on dozens of battlefields. Shepard deflected the pistol with his left hand and it fired into the ceiling. He brought his assault rifle up under the chin of the guard with his right hand, pushing the barrel inside the man's shields. He pulled the trigger and a burst of high velocity rounds shattered the guard's helmet and sprayed Shepard with gore. As the guard dropped, Shepard pivoted to cover the remainder of the room.

Even with all his training and experience, Shepard wasn't perfect. He couldn't react in time to the other guard that had been crouching behind a nearby desk. The guard fired a shotgun into Shepard as he turned. His shields, already weakened from the hits he took in the hallway, collapsed. As Shepard fired a burst from his assault rifle, the guard fired again. Shepard staggered as he took the unshielded shot, trying to put his rifle on target, to bring down the guard's shields.

Tali came around the broken door, firing her own shotgun. Their combined fire overwhelmed the guard's shield. Tali fired twice more into the now unshielded guard and he collapsed to the floor, bleed pooling around his body. Tali switched out her thermal clip and fired one more round into the guard, who did nothing more than twitch slightly.

Shepard activated a dose of medi-gel. "Don't you think that was a bit of overkill, Tali?"

"No, Shepard, I think that was just enough kill. I'm not taking any chances."

Shepard cocked his head to the side with a half-smile, finding it hard to argue with that logic. He moved back to the door as his shields recharged, glancing down the hallway. "Dammit. I think some of them just went down the stairs. If that was the Exterminator he likely has an escape route. If he gets away, we lose. He can use his resources to strike at Liara while we don't have a backup plan." Shepard activated his comm. "Mordin, is everything okay back there?"

"Affirmative, Shepard. They do not appear to be interested in outflanking us. They appear to be holding a defensive position at the stairs. Just saw a few of their number disappear down the staircase."

Shepard turned to Tali. Tali stood at what appeared to be a console for monitoring the area outside the house. "This is a security console, Shepard. I can hack in and see what they're doing."

"How fast can you get past their encryption?"

"Please, Shepard. I'm a Quarian. I hack Geth programs. No matter how good the Exterminator thinks this security is, it's not good enough. I'm already in."

Shepard whistled, genuinely impressed. "What can you do with it, Tali?"

Tali tapped a few commands into the console. "I have control of the defense guns, but they aren't very useful at the moment. I have the internal and external cameras. The stairs lead down to a lower level. I can see a garage with a few vehicles. There are some areas I can't see and I can't see the Exterminator. It looks like he 'manually decommissioned' the security cameras wherever he is. I guess he didn't want to risk us possibly spying on him. I can tell you that this payroll spreadsheet indicates there are seven more guards aside from the three at the building and the two we took down here."

"We can't give the Exterminator time to get away. That makes it even more urgent that we get down those stairs. Get a drone ready. I'm going to try to scatter them with grenades. I want you to follow up with a drone to keep them busy while I charge them. Get ready to back me up. You too, Mordin."

Shepard returned to the door and flung two grenades toward the group of guards. He began to follow them, wanting to take full advantage of the chaos he was about to create, when a blue nimbus formed around the grenades. Suddenly, they were travelling back up the hallway toward Shepard. "Shit! Take cover!" Shepard yelled as he jumped back into the security room. He tried to push the door closed to shield them from the blast, but was not wholly successful. The door burst open from the force of the explosion, coating Shepard in dust and debris.

"Damn it. They have a biotic out there. I should have expected that on Ilium." Shepard was growing more desperate. Time was ticking away. They had to get past the stairway, but their weapons weren't enough to force the guards out of their defensive position. They guards were clearly prepared to stall, not exposing themselves and making sure the Exterminator had plenty of time to get away.

"Mordin. Tali has control of the defense guns. Can you get back to the Hammerhead?"

"Yes, Shepard. Moving there now. Are you planning to withdraw?"

"Not a chance. Drive out from the wall and swing around. Bring the main gun in line with the hole we made and prepare to fire."

"Shepard. Like what you are planning, but hole in wall not aligned with interior door opening."

"Perfect. They won't see it coming. The missiles that thing fires are guided. Program the targeting to angle the missiles through the door and straight down the hallway. Fire the moment you're in position."

"Ah. Firing parameters are within this vehicles capabilities. Results should be quite satisfying. Highly recommend you and Tali'Zorah take cover."

Shepard blind fired a burst from his assault rifle down the hallway. He wanted the guards thinking he was about to try something, just not the something he was actually trying. As their return fire began to shred the doorframe, Shepard stepped back and closed the damaged door as much as he could. Seconds later he heard the roar of a barrage of missiles racing past the door. He had no way to be certain, but he was almost sure he heard someone shout "Oh, shit!" before everything was drowned out by a series of explosions. The door tried to force its way open in the back blast from the detonations, but Shepard held it mostly shut. More dust billowed into the room.

"Shepard, someone just moved into the garage. I saw it just before the cameras in that area cut out. We better hurry."

Shepard tried to wipe the grime and blood from his faceplate. "Thanks for the heads up, Tali. Follow me. Mordin, catch up to us as soon as you are able. We're headed down the staircase to try to catch this bastard."

They stepped carefully back into the hallway. Dust still filled the air and debris covered the floor. Tali triggered a drone at the end of the hallway. It began discharging electrical bursts into the fallen guards. One prone figure raised a pistol and fired on the drone. Shepard fired several bursts into the figure and it went still. No other movement was visible.

Shepard and Tali reached top of the staircase. Shepard shook his head at the carnage. He had himself at time criticized the Hammerhead's firepower as underwhelming, but he had never before imagined using it as an indoor weapon. The missile explosions in the confined space had annihilated the guards. The stairway had partially collapsed, crushing two of the guards, their shields useless against the falling rubble. Two others, including an Asari who had likely been the biotic, had been killed in the missile explosions. The fifth guard, the one who had fired at the drone, had been finished off by Shepard. Thankfully, the staircase had not fully collapsed. Shepard worked his way past the rubble and began to descend to the lower level.

Suddenly, Shepard's comm pinged to signal an incoming message. Shepard paused at the top of the stairs to listen. "Shepard, come in, this is Joker."

Shepard knew Joker would not contact him unless something important was going on. "Go ahead, Joker."

"We just got locked down here, Shepard. The port authorities sent a message that there was a 'problem with our paperwork' and shut us down. We won't be going anywhere unless we shoot our way out, which seems like a bad idea."

The Exterminator was covering his bases, Shepard thought to himself. He wanted to take the Normandy off the table as either a threat or help for Shepard, at least long enough for him to get away. He clearly recognized that escape equaled victory. Shepard's desperation ratcheted up another notch.

"Respect the lockdown, Joker. We'll deal with things on this end. Thanks for the warning." Shepard pushed past the partial blockage on the staircase, hurrying to reach the Exterminator.

Tali was right behind him, but placed a cautionary hand on his shoulder. "Be careful, Shepard. If the computer information is accurate there should still be two more guards along with the Exterminator. We don't know what they might have been doing down there."

"Send a drone ahead of us. Hopefully it can trigger any traps they might have set or show us if they are in cover. Hopefully they haven't had time to do anything too clever, but like you said, let's not take any chances."

Tali nodded, triggering her omni-tool. "Go get them, Chiktikka." The drone descended the staircase, several feet ahead of Shepard. As the drone emerged on a lower landing, Tali piped up. "Hold on Shepard. I'm getting an electromagnetic spike. It could be from a sensor." Tali sent a command from her omni-tool. Below, the drone sent out an electrical burst. A grenade, concealed in the rubble at the base of the staircase, detonated. An armored firing port in the door leading off the lower landing opened and a guard raked the area with assault rifle fire, hoping to catch anyone disoriented or injured by the explosion. Seeing that no one was on the landing he closed the firing port.

Shepard descended to the landing, staying in cover from the door. Tali materialized another drone, which scanned the area. "No more traps I can detect, Shepard. That door looks tougher than the one upstairs. Give me a moment." Tali's drone vanished. Shepard heard gunfire on the opposite side of the door. "There only appears to be one guard beyond that door, Shepard."

"Buying yet more time for the Exterminator to escape. I don't know how quickly I can force that door. If I'm in the open and I can't get through immediately, he'll cut me down."

"I don't think the drone alone can do enough to distract him, Shepard. I might be able to drain his shields, but we'll need more than that."

As if summoned, Mordin suddenly arrived from the upper level. "Did I miss anything, Shepard?"

"Just a guard holding this door. If I get him to open that port can you and Tali take him down?"

Mordin eyed the port and the angle at which they would be standing. "I believe so, Shepard. Can coordinate with Tali'Zorah to incapacitate the guard. Need him to open that port, however."

"Get ready. He'll be opening the port in a moment." Shepard moved out into the open landing. The guard was clearly monitoring them in some fashion, because he almost immediately opened the firing port and unleashed a stream of assault rifle shots at Shepard. Shepard's shields flared blue as the shots were deflected.

Behind him, Shepard heard Tali say "Now, Mordin". Tali struck the area of the port with an energy drain, hopefully drawing enough power from the guard's shields. Mordin carefully triggered an electrical burst of his own a fraction of a second later, sending the jolt through the open port and into the nervous system of the now unshielded guard. The gunfire stopped as the guard grunted and collapsed.

Shepard charged the door, slamming his full weight into it. It groaned, but failed to open. He drew back and charged again. He heard movement on the other side and knew that Mordin's stun attack was wearing off. Shepard charged a third time and the door burst open. The guard was just rising from the floor, clearly still groggy. Shepard smashed the butt of his assault rifle into the side of the man's helmet, stunning him again.

Shepard looked up and realized they were in what appeared to be a small workshop that contained a computer and workbench. There was a single exit from the room. "Tali, see if you can get anything from the computer. Mordin, see if you can get anything from the prisoner." Shepard got up and walked to the workbench. It held several tools and clamps. It appeared to be a work area for modifying and repairing weapons, something with which he was very familiar. It appeared the work area had seen very recent use.

Suddenly, Shepard heard a loud bang. He turned and saw Mordin wiping gore from his face and chest. The man he had hoped to question was missing most of his face. Mordin simply looked up as Shepard and said, "See, Shepard. Ocular flashbangs very effective." Shepard cursed. This guard wouldn't be giving them any information.

"Shepard," Tali spoke up. "The data storage on this computer has been deleted, but I was able to recover the last data that was retrieved. It looks like some sort of chemical formula."

Shepard walked over to the display and looked at what appeared to be a very complex chemical formula. Beyond that, he had no idea what he was looking at. "Mordin, can you tell me what this is?"

Mordin walked to the display while Shepard covered the door to make sure that no one surprised them. "Ah, impressive," Mordin stated. "Appears to be a powerful toxin. If introduced into the body would be especially lethal to humans. Recommend caution, Shepard. There is a storage cabinet here with a number of toxins, but do not see this one. May have been taken for use against us, specifically you."

Shepard looked again at the recently used workbench. He had seen and used a number of modded rounds over the years. Some rounds were specifically designed to add destructive substances to their impact. He tended to favor incendiary rounds himself, at least when fighting organics. "We've got to keep moving, but be careful. The Exterminator should only have one guard left, but they may have been able to load up rounds with some very nasty stuff. Make sure your shields are charged and stick close. Tali, put the drone on point."

Tali triggered a new drone on the far side of the door. "It looks like the garage area, Shepard. It's a big space with a few vehicles. No one is near the drone, but I can't get any more information than that."

"Then we move forward, carefully." Shepard tried the handle, which opened the door easily. He stayed behind the cover of the door. Peeking out revealed a large garage space. There were three visible vehicles, a skycar like the one they had commandeered, a larger, open-topped truck with a cargo area capable of carrying several men, and a small tractor that appeared to be designed for moving and loading heavy equipment. The skycar and the truck, the only flight capable vehicles, both had sparks and smoke trailing from their open engine compartments.

"It looks like he sabotaged the vehicles. Any idea why he would do that?" Shepard was genuinely confused. He didn't see any other vehicles present. The only thing he could think of was that the Exterminator had run and damaged any vehicles that might pursue him. If that were the case, then Liara was in trouble. He almost certainly now knew Shepard was involved. If he chose to go to ground he could lay low until Shepard was forced to leave Ilium. His mission couldn't wait forever. And when he left, Liara would be as good as dead. She had made that clear. They needed to catch the Exterminator now. "Keep your guard up. We need to check these vehicles and see if there's any indication where the Exterminator might have gone."

They moved together toward the two damaged vehicles. As they moved forward, Tali scanned the skycar with her omni-tool. She looked at Shepard and shook her head. "The computer has been wiped on this one, Shepard. Hopefully the truck still has some data I can access." They moved toward the truck. Tali sent the drone around to the back of the vehicle to make sure there was no one waiting for them.

Suddenly, a Salarian leapt screaming from where he had been hiding in the cargo bed of the truck. He dove toward Shepard, knife in hand. Shepard reacted instinctively, dropping his assault rifle and grabbing the wrist of the diving attacker with one hand and seizing the handle like chest armor protrusion that seemed ubiquitous for Salarians with the other. He pivoted, using his strength and the Salarians own momentum to hurl him with bone shattering force against the nearby skycar.

The attack felt wrong to Tali. As ambushes went, it was loud and clumsy. Which she realized could be the whole purpose. She trusted Shepard to deal with the attacker, so rather than watch the attack, she pivoted to scan the room. At the far end of the garage her enhanced optics highlighted movement. A quick command zoomed in and revealed an individual pointing a very large weapon in their direction. Shepard's direction. Tali got out the word "Sniper!" as she stepped to interpose herself between the danger and Shepard. She triggered her omni-tool as she stepped, her shields briefly flaring with boosted power as across the garage the weapon fired.

The round struck Tali's boosted shields. At the point of impact there was a violent burst and her shields immediately collapsed. The armor covering her left shoulder shattered. Red blood, so similar in appearance to human blood, spattered Shepard's armor.

"Tali!" Shepard cried out. She staggered a few steps away. Shepard scanned back in the direction of the shot and saw movement. One individual, climbing onto a skycycle that had been concealed. Shepard scooped up his rifle and fired as the figure gunned the engine. At that distance only a few stray shots struck the individual, no doubt the Exterminator. These few hits were easily deflected by his shields. In a moment, he was gone. Gone through the open vehicle door at the far end of the room.

Shepard turned back to Tali. She was standing unsteadily, swaying, holding her bleeding shoulder. "I don't feel well..." she managed to say before falling toward the floor. Shepard dropped his rifle again and leapt forward to catch her, gently lowering her to the ground. He knelt by her, holding her hand.

"What were you thinking, Tali? You didn't have to do that."

Tali's voice was weak, surprisingly weak. "Wasn't thinking…Shepard. Didn't…want you…to…be…hurt. Thought I…could stop…the…" Tali's voice trailed off as her body spasmed.

"What the hell is going on, Mordin? This couldn't be a reaction to the suit breach, not this fast."

Mordin knelt on the far side of Tali, his medical kit open next to him. His omni-tool hummed as he scanned Tali. "Indications are Tali'Zorah was struck with a very specialized large caliber two-stage round. Concussion charge in the nose collapsed her shields followed by a shredder charge that breached her armor and delivered the toxin. Toxin is affecting her now. Inhibiting breathing, blood clotting, neurotransmitters. Toxin will be fatal if not specifically treated."

Shepard felt a surge of panic. He grabbed the handle protruding from Mordin's chest armor and pulled him closer until his nose was nearly touching Mordin's face. "You said that toxin was lethal to _humans_."

"No. Said _especially_ lethal to humans. Also lethal to Quarians, Turians, Asari, and Batarians. Would give a Krogan a slight headache."

"Shit, damn, shit! You've got to help her, Mordin. You've got antidotes, right? I told you to bring antidotes." Shepard was flailing, desperate.

"Have administered broad spectrum anti-toxin as well as anti-biotics and anti-histamines, Shepard, but this is a particularly virulent tailored toxin. If shot had struck you, we would not be having this conversation. If specific treatment is not administered soon, Tali'Zorah will die."

Shepard held his head. There was a chance, a small chance, they could still catch the Exterminator with the Hammerhead. If they did that, then Tali was dead. If they let the Exterminator go then they might not get another shot at him. Liara couldn't hide forever and that meant if he got away now, Liara would likely be dead. Shepard looked down at the woman who had literally just taken a bullet for him. His emotions were in chaos, but through the jumble he was certain of one thing. He didn't want Tali to die.

He felt Mordin's hand close on his forearm. "Shepard. No time to agonize over choices. Need your orders. Now."


	4. Chapter 4 - What the Heart Wants

Chapter 4 – What the Heart Wants

Shepard was running. Even as his mind continued to uselessly twist itself into knots his heart and body knew better what to do. As he topped the staircase and began sprinting down the hall toward where the Hammerhead waited, he glanced down at Tali. She was so light as he ran carrying her, so very light, part of him feared she would simply evaporate, like mist in the morning sun.

Shepard mentally slapped himself. What the hell was going on with his head? Waxing poetic in the midst of this crisis was worse than useless. Maybe he shouldn't get his head in the game, as muddled as his thinking seemed to be. He let his instincts guide him, and his trust in his friends.

Thankfully, Mordin had turned the Hammerhead around after taking out the guards at the top of the stairs. Shepard was able to run straight through the hole in the bathroom wall and into the APC. "Mordin! Take care of her while I get us going toward Nos Astra." Shepard set Tali down as gently as he could and leapt for the Hammerhead's controls. Mordin pulled out more medical supplies and propped Tali's head up. He checked the emergency bandage he had applied to her shoulder. It was soaked through with blood.

Shepard shoved the throttle fully open and accelerated away from the damaged structure. He leaned on the boosters, trying to maintain as much speed as he could. The boosters quickly reaching a near constant state of overheating.

"Shepard. Will take too long to reach assistance using only available speed."

Shepard forced his mind into motion. He had one last arrow in his quiver. Garrus was in Nos Astra. Not stuck on the Normandy as the rest of the crew was, but in the city itself. Garrus had purchased the LOKI mechs for their diversion and remained in the city in case Liara needed assistance. If he called for Garrus' help now, Liara would be on her own. Shepard had activated the comm before his mind fully grasped that he was going to do everything he could to save Tali. He had put her in this situation and she had selflessly protected him. He realized that at his core, he simply could not accept losing her. He would help Liara how he could once Tali was safe.

"Garrus here. What's your status, Shepard?"

"Garrus! We've got an emergency here. Tali's been shot in the shoulder and she's been poisoned. We've got to get her to a real hospital. We're headed toward Nos Astra, but the Hammerhead isn't going to cut it. The crew is stuck on the Normandy and I don't know who we can trust there, so I need you to go straight to the professionals. Go to the hospital and grab an emergency crew. They have to have ambulance shuttles for emergencies like this. They won't need clearance and they are less likely to be on an assassin's payroll, I hope. Get them out here to pick up Tali. I'll keep doing what I can to shorten the distance, but I need you to make this happen, Garrus. Beg, bribe, or threaten, but get that shuttle to us. Mordin has the chemical formula of the poison. He'll send it now." Shepard looked back at Mordin and was relieved to see Mordin keying the commands into his omni-tool.

"The Exterminator got away, Garrus. He ran on a skycycle. We have no idea where he is now or what he'll do next. We'll deal with that when we have to, but watch your back."

"You too, Shepard. I'll contact you when I have help on the way. Garrus out."

Shepard sagged in his seat. His hand hovered over the booster control, pushing every bit of speed out of the vehicle he could. The overheat warning sirens were nearly constant.

"There's a problem with the engines. The alarms keep going off. I better fix them or we'll never make the relay." Tali had come around to a groggy consciousness. The vehicle shook as Shepard boosted over a rock outcropping. "Keelah, what is Joker doing? He's…not usually such a…bad pilot."

Mordin leaned down so Tali could easily see him and spoke gently to her. "Hello, Tali'Zorah. Ship is functioning adequately, though pilot is having some issues. You are in need of rest to aid in recovery from a slight injury. Are you feeling any discomfort?"

"It's…hot. I need to adjust my suit settings. Are we…on Ilium yet? I told Shepard I needed…some supplies…for my suit."

Shepard's concern spiked hearing how weak and disoriented Tali sounded. "Mordin, what's going on? How is she doing?"

"Tali shifted her head and looked directly at Mordin. "Mordin! When did you get here? Are you…coming to Ilium too?" Tali reached her right hand up to touch Mordin's face. "Do you want to know a secret, Mordin? I told Shepard that I needed supplies…for my suit, but I lied." Tali giggled at her secret. "We were just on the…Migrant Fleet. They had all the supplies I might need. I just wanted…to spend time with Shepard. He's been in so much pain. And he hides it soooo badly. I want to…be there…for him. I…don't…want him to…hurt. He deserves… I want…to…" Tali's words trailed off as she began spasming uncontrollably. Mordin worked silently, accessing her suit protocols and his own supplies to keep her alive.

Shepard stared straight ahead, trying to breathe. She saw his pain and was there for him. She didn't try to fix it, or tell him what to do, or how to make it better. She was just there for him. From the very beginning. Easing his pain with her gentle presence. Distracting him with her tales of her people. Lifting his spirits with her enthusiasm. Being there for him, despite the cost to herself. Shepard shook his head. He knew he could be oblivious, but he did try to learn. Right now he knew if he got lost in these feelings it would put Tali at risk, so he pushed everything to the side and focused on her safety.

"What's going on, Mordin? Is there anything else you can do for her?"

"Need to get to hospital, Shepard. Toxin continuing to suppress numerous biological systems. Body temperature is climbing. Immune reaction and toxin impact exacerbated by projectiles remaining lodged in her left shoulder muscle."

"What! Can't you get that out of her?"

"Negative, Shepard. Without sterile environment attempting to withdraw the projectiles would introduce a significant amount of contaminants to the wound and severely exacerbate the immune reaction. Given amount of time projectiles have been in the body risk of removal outweighs benefits."

So it was either get to a hospital quickly, or watch Tali die. Shepard opened a communications channel. "Garrus, please tell me you're on the way."

"We just left, Shepard. I was able to come to an arrangement with a private ambulance company. They have standing permission for emergency flights, so we're bypassing any bureaucratic interference. Keep this channel open and we'll home in on the signal and reach you in…", there was a pause as Garrus leaned away from the comm, "…four minutes."

Shepard knew there was some risk that if the Exterminator had the wherewithal he could potentially track the signal as well. Given how the Exterminator had been forced to flee it seemed unlikely to Shepard that he would be prepared to retaliate so quickly. Shepard also found he did not really care. Tali needed that shuttle right now. "Channel is open, Garrus. Shave off every second you can, for Tali's sake."

Shepard pushed the boosters as far as he could. There was no doubt they would need extensive recalibration after this was over. Shepard knew Garrus could handle that. He watched his scanners as the minutes ticked by.

"We have you in sight, Shepard. We're descending now. Stop and get ready to transfer Tali to the shuttle." Shepard brought the Hammerhead to a stop and opened the rear boarding hatch. Mordin stepped back as Shepard again lifted the unconscious Tali into his arms. He hurried out of the Hammerhead and saw the shuttle make a rapid landing a few dozen yards away, kicking up clouds of dust and debris. Shepard raced through the swirling clouds of dust, trusting that Mordin had sufficiently protected Tali's wounded shoulder. The shuttle door had barely begun to open when Shepard was sliding Tali onto the stretcher they had been preparing to bring to the Hammerhead.

Two Asari med-techs moved to begin treating Tali. Shepard turned to Mordin, who had approached as he had gotten Tali onto the stretcher. "Mordin, make sure these two know everything about Tali's injury. Help them on the flight back however you can. Garrus, take the Hammerhead back to Nos Astra. I'm going on the shuttle with Tali."

Garrus simply looked at Shepard a moment before nodding his head. "Keep me in the loop as to how she's doing, Shepard. I'll get back as quickly as I can." Garrus turned and headed toward the Hammerhead.

Mordin had already entered the shuttle. Shepard climbed in as well and took a seat as far out of the way of the three of them as possible, but where he could still see what they were doing. The shuttle lifted off and turned back toward Nos Astra.

The Asari and Mordin were chattering back and forth. Shepard let the nearly unintelligible jargon flow over him, understanding the occasional term. He gathered they had gotten the formula for the toxin and an anti-toxin was being prepared. Tali would receive this when they reached the hospital, where she would immediately undergo surgery to remove the projectiles from her shoulder.

Shepard sat and watched Tali, willing her to keep breathing, feeling his heart in his throat every time that breathing paused. He suddenly realized how much he would miss her if she were gone. The long talks they had shared, her love of ships, her enthusiasm for her people. The way she had always been there for him, giving freely and asking nothing in return. Even when she needed help he had nearly had to insist on helping, like she was embarrassed that she might need him to help her. He realized just how much he truly looked forward to her company.

The fear of losing her surged through him as alarms began sounding from the biomonitors they had linked to Tali's suit. "She's fibrillating. Accessing stimulant and defibrillation programs. No effect. Boosting stimulation levels." The Asari tech was so calm. So matter of fact. A professionalism Shepard might have appreciated had he not been on the verge of screaming.

"You've got to do something ! Do something! Do _something_!" Shepard _was_ screaming. Uselessly and disruptively. The tech glanced toward Mordin, who was already moving to redirect Shepard.

"Shepard, look at me. Shepard. Look at me. Look at me." Mordin very calmly got Shepard to meet his large eyes. "Medical technician is doing all she possibly can. Nearly to the hospital. Hysterics understandable, but counter-productive. Need you to cease distractions. Remember your own professionalism, Shepard. You know this is not helping Tali'Zorah."

He was right of course. Where the hell had his professionalism gone? He took three deep breaths, slowing himself down. He found he really didn't feel any calmer, but at least he wasn't screaming at anyone, though he still wanted to.

The techs were talking between themselves as they continued to work on Tali. One of them spoke to the Asari pilot. "We need to make an emergency landing. Her vitals are crashing. Inform them we need the anti-toxin immediately on landing and to take her directly to surgery."

Shepard heard the pilot's acknowledgement. She forwarded this information to the hospital and the shuttle immediately angled into a steep descent. It took only seconds for the shuttle to come to a rest on a landing pad. Seconds more passed as the hospital personnel rushed to the shuttle. More time as they transferred Tali from the shuttle and hurried with her toward the hospital. Shepard followed them out of the shuttle. Willing them to hurry. Willing them to not waste a single precious second that Tali might need to survive this. He followed them into the building. He followed down the hallway. He tried to follow them into the elevator, but was stopped by someone he took for a nurse.

"I'm sorry, but she's going to emergency surgery. That's a restricted area. You aren't allowed to accompany her."

Shepard looked at the unassuming Asari who had interposed herself between him and the woman…crewmember…he cared about. For a brief moment he thought of simply pushing her aside, but he saw Mordin gesturing for him to stay calm. Mordin was being allowed into the elevator. The nurse gestured at Shepard and stated, "Please, she is going into a sterile area." Shepard looked down at himself and realized he was coated in the dust, dirt, and blood of the day's combat. Insisting on accompanying them would only slow Tali getting the help she so desperately needed as well as create even more decontamination issues. Shepard stood, stiff with tension, as the elevator doors closed. The nurse remained in front of him, still concerned about what he might do.

"Please. I'm Commander Shepard. I need to know that she is going to be okay. She's part of my crew, my friend, my…responsibility. Please, I need to know she is okay."

The nurse stood considering the situation for several seconds. "Come with me. I'll give you access to the observation theater for the operating room she is going to. I would recommend you get cleaned up. I would also ask that you remove your armor and weapons. This is a hospital after all."

"I'll get cleaned up once I know that Tali is going to be okay. I need to keep my weapon. I'll assert Spectre authority if need be. Now, please take me to that observation theater."

The nurse looked none too pleased with Shepard's response, but apparently came to the conclusion that arguing would create more disruption than acquiescing, at least in this case. She led him through the corridors to a different elevator. They were followed by stares and whispered comments.

Finally, Shepard was escorted to a small room with a bank of large windows that looked down into an operating room. Three different displays provided views of the procedures that were just beginning in the room below. The room was tiered with steps leading downward to the windows. It could hold at least twenty people, though there were only three others present at the moment. Shepard barely glanced at them as he absent-mindedly thanked the nurse and hurried to the windows.

It was clear that Tali had only just been wheeled into the room. She was surrounded by a half-dozen medical personnel. Shepard pressed his face against the window and listened to the audio pickups from the display next to him.

"The anti-toxin has been administered. We're maintaining cardiac and pulmonary stimulation until her body can sustain those functions on its own."

"The projectiles destroyed the primary shoulder seal. Her suit is still a source of foreign material, even with the decontamination procedures. We're going to need to remove the suit. We need to make sure we maintain an absolutely sterile environment as we proceed."

"I want every file we have on Quarian biology pulled up and ready to access. I haven't done procedures with very many Quarians and I want to make sure we double-check everything."

"Oh, yeah. They're going to pull the helmet. Zoom in on her face. I want to get a good look when they crack her suit." That last had not come from the operating theater below, but from behind Shepard. He whipped around and realized that the number of people in the room had grown. There had to be close to twenty people staring at the displays and windows. He had been so focused on Tali he had not heard them enter, but he heard them now.

"I've never seen a Quarian."

"What do you think she'll be, hot or not?"

"Hah, Jenessa will be pissed she called in sick today and missed this."

"Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes…"

Shepard felt his anger spike. He hated the feeling of helplessness as he watched Tali fight for her life. That fear and frustration shifted to anger as he realized this crowd was gathering not to learn or support, but to gawk. They were voyeurs, here to sate their prurient desire to see Tali unmasked. To ogle the exposed Quarian as she struggled from one breath to the next. It would be a violation of her at her most vulnerable. Shepard turned and faced the room. "This room is off limits as of right now. Everyone out." Shepard's voice was calm, deadly calm. Some of the more perceptive gawkers realized this and made to leave the room, but a particularly officious Asari near Shepard spoke up to argue.

"Who are you to tell us we can or can't be here. This is a teaching hospital and we have permission to observe…Oh, Goddess!" Shepard did not recall drawing his pistol, but he held it now, low and to his side, turned so the profile of the weapon was visible. It wasn't aimed at anybody, but the message was unmistakable. The ones inclined to argue looked more fully at him, took in his blood and dust smeared armor, the weapon he brandished, and the murderous look in his eyes. Within seconds, the room had cleared. Shepard was relieved to see the doctors below had not yet removed Tali's helmet. He reached up and turned off the visual displays. He had briefly considered dramatically shooting them out, but realized there was now no one present to appreciate the gesture. He also refrained for the same reason he had not pointed his pistol at any of those he had driven from the room. If he caused too much disruption the immunity offered by his Spectre status might well run out.

Shepard strode up the steps of the observation theater and positioned himself in the one doorway. There he stood guard, blocking those who would intrude like, well, like guard dog, Cerberus. A dark chuckle forced its way out of Shepard as he contemplated this image and its connection to his current allies. He stood and listened to the low beeps from the still active audio feed that signaled the beating of Tali's heart. He willed those beeps to continue.

* * *

Tali came slowly to consciousness. She laid still, eyes closed, trying to determine her surroundings. She was lying down, propped up at an angle. She could smell the antiseptics and cleanliness that spoke of an environment not just clean, but sterile. She realized she smelled these odors with her own senses, feeling the cool air of the room and the material covering her with her bare skin. Her eyes shot open as she felt a sense of panic and vulnerability. With no suit between her and whatever was around her she was exposed in every sense of the word. She calmed her mind, not wanting to give herself away before she assessed the situation. She was alive. Her shoulder hurt, but it was a distant ache, not the searing pain she remembered from the moments after she stepped between Shepard and the sniper. The thought of Shepard, and the realization that she had no idea what had happened to him, shattered the calm she had been trying to cultivate. She shot upright in the bed, calling out Shepard's name, grateful for whatever painkillers were allowing her to ignore the sudden lancing of pain through her shoulder.

Sitting up, she could see there was another figure sitting in a chair across the room, his back to the room and the bed in which Tali lay. The figure reacted to her movement and sudden exclamation, jumping to his feet, but not turning around. She could see the figure was wearing a sterile environment suit that covered him from head to toe. Despite only seeing this fully suited figure from the back, she recognized who it was. From his movements, stature, and posture, she knew this was the very man she had called for. Commander Shepard was there in her room.

Shepard had been contemplating the same wall he had been contemplating for the past few hours. He had posted a warning to Liara, though he was sure she was already aware of his failure to eliminate her would be assassin. Garrus had returned to Nos Astra and was in the city, prepared to assist Liara if the opportunity presented itself. Shepard could only wait. Wait for Liara to contact him. Wait for the Exterminator to reveal what his next move would be. Wait for the Normandy to be released from lockdown. Wait for Tali to recover from her injury and poisoning, if she was going to. He chose not to contemplate that last possibility. He was finding it difficult enough to think through what he was feeling, what he would do when she awoke. Not if, when. Perhaps it was only superstition, but Shepard hoped a positive attitude would contribute to her recovery. Then, well, he'd figure out what he was feeling if they reached that point.

Shepard was struggling with these thoughts when he suddenly heard his name called out from behind him and heard the rustle of the bed coverings. He shot to his feet, almost turning around, almost looking at her, almost violating her as she lay at her most vulnerable. In his opinion, that would make him no better than the voyeurs he had driven from the operating theater. He had spent the last four hours in this room, waiting for her to recover, refusing to steal even a glance at her, despite the temptation to do so. Never, without her permission.

"Shepard, are you okay? What happened? Is the Exterminator dead?

Shepard was surprised she could recognize him. He was fully covered from head to toe in an unfamiliar sealed suit to maintain the sterile room environment. He had been required to clean up and remove his armor before he was allowed to enter the room. He still had his pistol, decontaminated before he entered. Perhaps she had recognized it. "It's me, Tali. How did you recognize me?"

"I'm a Quarian, Shepard. My whole life has been spent reading body language and recognizing people without being able to see their faces. I realized it was you the moment you stood up. And it…was a relief. I woke up scared, Shepard. Scared of what might have happened to you. Scared of my own vulnerability without my suit. That all vanished the moment I knew you were safe and here with me."

"You scared the hell out of me, Tali. When you fell, when I saw your blood, when I knew that I might lose you, I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I could only do what I could to get you to help, and curse my own uselessness. We didn't get the Exterminator, Tali. He got away." Shepard clenched his fists and shifted from one foot to the other. His frustration had no outlet. He wanted to turn around, to see Tali. To see her safe and alive. He refused, continuing to stare at the corner with which he'd become so thoroughly familiar over the past few hours.

"Is Liara safe, Shepard? Have you been able to reach her to let her know?"

Shepard let out a sigh at the…well, he didn't know what he was feeling about Liara. Frustration? Disappointment? Confusion?. "I've put word out in places I think she would check, Tali. I've done everything I can regarding Liara. I'll still help if I get the chance, but I've done what I can." Shepard realized he was talking about more than trying to eliminate her assassin. He got the impression Tali might have realized this as well.

"You have done everything you can, Shepard, for me, for everyone who's ever needed you. It's about time somebody told you that. Gave you the appreciation you deserve." Tali paused taking in an audible breath. "Shepard…why are you facing the wall? Why am I talking to the back of your head?"

Shepard took a few moments to answer. "You've told me a lot about your people, Tali. About your customs and social practices. I know that showing your face to somebody is far more meaningful among your people than among humans. It felt like it would be a…betrayal, a…violation to disregard what wishes you might have, to take advantage of the situation to see you without your permission."

Several seconds passed in silence. Shepard became more nervous as he pictured every possible negative reaction Tali might realistically or unrealistically have to the situation. Finally, she spoke, an air of nostalgia in her voice tone. "I remember those conversations. I was so nervous to be aboard the Normandy, aboard the ship of the first human Spectre. You might have noticed that I tend to talk a lot when I get nervous. When you would visit me I was worried I would be boring, so I talked, then I was afraid all my talk was boring you, but I had a hard time not talking when you would visit…"

Shepard realized Tali was talking a lot. He wanted to put her mind at ease. "Tali. My visits to you, the stories you shared about your people, those are some of the best memories I have from our time on the original Normandy. I looked forward to those visits, just like I look forward to our conversations now. I've missed those conversations so much…" Shepard came to a realization, "I've missed you, Tali."

Shepard heard Tali inhale sharply. There was another pause of several seconds during which it was Shepard who was feeling particularly vulnerable. He wasn't sure himself what it meant that he had been missing her so much, but he knew that he could get hurt again, depending on Tali's reaction.

"Please, turn around, Shepard. Talk with me, face to face."

It was Shepard's turn to inhale sharply. "Are you sure, Tali. I know this matters."

"I'm sure, Shepard. You've been there for me. From the first moment we met you've been there for me. You were there to help when the Fist betrayed me. You were there when I needed the Geth data to complete my pilgrimage. You were there at Freedom's Progress, on Haestrom, when my own people turned against me. When my father betrayed our principles. You've always been there, so I've tried to be there for you. You are my captain, my friend, and…" Tali paused, hesitating. "I trust you, Shepard. I want you to see me as I am. And I want to see you with my own eyes."

Shepard took a deep breath, as if he was about to jump from a height and once he jumped could not go back. He turned slowly, keeping his eyes lowered. It was not until he had turned fully around that he raised his eyes to look at her.

She lay in the hospital bed, propped up at an angle. She looked so, human. But clearly not human. Her masses of dark hair, more than he would have pictured, hung in lank strands, likely from her recent ordeal and fever. Her eyes glowed with a soft, white bioluminescence. Her skin was pale, so pale from a lifetime of wearing an environmental suit. He could see a faint patterning in her skin, almost a striping with visible markings of cybernetic implants. She was alien, but still exotically beautiful by human standards. Shepard realized he was staring. He tried to sound easygoing as he stated, "So, this is what a Quarian looks like."

Tali became more visibly nervous, pulling the sheet covering her upper body up to her chin in a protective manner and he kicked himself for sounding like he was judging her looks. He realized that with her shoulder injury and surgery the Asari staff had not put a hospital gown on Tali. She was likely feeling even more vulnerable as a result. Shepard tried again. "I'm sorry, Tali. That sounded judgmental. I'm afraid I'm feeling nervous about seeing you without your helmet. I am honored that you trust me enough to allow me to see your face."

"It's okay, Shepard. I'm feeling pretty nervous too. I guess I want you to…like what you see."

"You were beautiful before I ever turned around, Tali." Shepard meant that, but he also knew Tali needed an honest, straightforward answer. "I don't know what Quarians consider to be attractive, Tali, but I can honestly say that to my eyes you are beautiful." As Shepard said this, he had to admit he wasn't exaggerating a bit. By human standards Tali really was beautiful.

Tali seemed to be experiencing a combination of nervousness and relief. "I appreciate that, Shepard. To be honest I have always thought you were handsome as well, though you are less purple now than I'm used to."

Shepard had to laugh at this. Both because of the nerves they were both feeling and because he realized she was likely used to seeing the whole world in more shades of purple, given the tinting of her helmet faceplate. "Well, I hope that I'm still handsome without my usual purple", Shepard joked.

"Oh, yes." Tali suddenly got nervous at being so forward and changed the subject. "It's interesting to see the difference in colors seeing things without my helmet. For instance I can clearly see the amazing colors of that bouquet on the table at the end of my bed. Those flowers can't be real, can they?"

Shepard looked at the arrangement of flowers. They were the most colorful he could find in the hospital gift shop. Red tulip-like flowers, blue roses, white, yellow, and purple alien varieties he couldn't name. They stood out dramatically in contrast to the monotone clean room. "They're artificial. They went through decontamination before they were allowed in the room. While you were unconscious I was thinking back on all our conversations. I remembered how on the Alarei you talked about never being able to smell a flower. When you woke up I wanted you to have something better to look at than this bare room. And I wanted you to know I was thinking of you, that I care."

Tali had gotten quiet again. "You remember all that, Shepard? I was angry when I said that, venting my frustration. I never expected you would…that it would matter."

"Everything we've talked about has mattered, Tali. You matter to me."

Tali cocked her head to indicate a smile, the same way she did when wearing her helmet. Shepard could see that she also smiled with her mouth and face. Life in a suit, cut off from most facial social cues, had not eliminated those facial expressions. She continued to struggle with a combination of nervousness and pleasure, again changing the subject. "I'm confused, Shepard. If you brought me those flowers, then what is this on the table next to me?"

Next to her was a long box, clearly labeled as coming from the hospital flower shop. The box was tied with a neat, red bow. Shepard smiled at Tali. "I thought after such a rough day you might like to have something familiar handy. Go on, open it. Be careful though, it is a little heavy."

Tali reached over and carefully took the box into her lap. She winced slightly, but found she had the strength to handle the box, which was indeed a bit heavy. She untied the ribbon holding it closed and lifted the lid. Tali smiled and sighed as she looked at the contents of the box. "Oh, Shepard. You really know how to treat a lady."

"Don't worry. Mordin made sure it was safe to bring in here. Just don't go flashing it around to the staff. They seem anxious enough as it is."

"I won't, Shepard, don't worry." Tali paused, again cocking her head to the side. "But you do, don't you. You do worry about me. You do…care about me?"

Shepard took a deep breath before the plunge. "I do, Tali. I think about you often and I've recently realized that those times are the times I'm happiest. When you agreed to rejoin me after your mission on Haestrom it made me incredibly happy. When the Admirals tried to use you in their political games I wanted to tear them apart, and ended up doing it verbally. I told myself I was doing this because you were my crewmember, that I'd do that for anyone else in my crew. But I see now it's more than that. I'm still figuring it out myself, but do I care? Yes, I care about you, Tali. Very much." Every word had felt like a terrifying relief to Shepard. He wasn't sure how it could be both at the same time, but it was.

Shepard stepped to her bedside. His glove felt bulky and cumbersome as he reached to take her hand. He held her hand between both his and looked through the faceplate of his clean suit. She reached up with her free hand, wincing slightly at the motion, and touched the material covering his face. He couldn't feel her touch, could barely feel her hand through the gloves he wore. He wanted to rip off the suit and hug her, hold her, but knew it would only cause her harm. He let out a long breath and sighed. "I think I get it, Tali. Maybe just a little, but I think I get it."

Tali smiled at Shepard, taking his hands in both of hers. She squeezed his hands through the gloves, making sure he could feel her touch as much as possible. She seemed like a weight had been lifted from her. "I care about you too, Shepard. I…I think we should talk more about this again. After I've had a chance to recover. I need to think about this."

"Of course, Tali. Take all the time you need. I'll step out to check on things and let you get some rest, but I'll be back soon."

"I'll be here, Shepard."

"I know."

Shepard turned back to look at her twice in crossing the short distance to the door. The door led to an antechamber where anyone entering the room would go through decontamination first. Shepard opened the door and stepped into the chamber, looking back at Tali again through the window into the room. He stood there several seconds until he remembered he had to manually trigger the decontamination before the outer door would open. He was not sure how long he would have stood there looking at her had he not recalled this.

As Shepard entered the outer hallway his instincts warned him something was wrong. He glanced up and down the hallway. Since Tali had entered the hospital with a gunshot wound she had been admitted to a secure area after her surgery. To the left the windowless hallway continued past another unoccupied isolation room to an emergency staircase. To the right the hallway continued past another empty isolation room and storage area to an elevator and staircase. Placed intermittently in the hallway were large planters that were entirely failing to alleviate the sterile impact of the bare metal and harsh hospital lighting. The usual Asari efforts at beautification did not seem to extend to this secure level. When Tali had arrived at the room a guard had been stationed in the hallway. That guard was nowhere to be seen.

To the far right the elevator opened and an Asari, a Turian, and a Human in the uniform of hospital orderlies exited pushing a gurney. The gurney held a sheet covering a lump that could have been a body, though Shepard did not believe that any more than he believed the eclectic group were really orderlies. His instincts told him they were thugs, and Shepard had learned long ago to trust his instincts.

Shepard knew he was in no position for a stand-up fight. He was wearing an environment suit that offered no armor or shields. He only had the pistol he had refused to give up and a couple spare thermal clips. And no medi-gel. He was in the middle of a hospital and couldn't afford to be injured. As the 'orderlies' looked up and saw Shepard standing in the hallway they reached for the gurney. Shepard had already drawn his pistol and was confident enough in his assessment to put two shots into the chest of the Asari. Shepard had no shields to counter biotics and so took out the most obvious threat in that regard. Shepard dove between two of the planters for cover as the 'orderlies' pulled weapons from under the concealment of the sheet. They opened fire with submachine guns, but Shepard had reached his cover, thankful for the durable containers and masses of dirt. The leafy plants they contained were not so fortunate as they were shredded by the hail of shots.

Shepard's mind had started processing the situation before he had finished his dive into cover. The thugs firing at him seemed less skilled, less professional than the ones he had run into at the Exterminator's base. Maybe the B-team or even local mercs the Exterminator had been forced to hire due to the loss of his other men. He was relatively safe in the cover of the planters, but escaping would be a problem, especially if they managed to approach from the emergency exit behind him as well. And he immediately knew he couldn't leave Tali. She couldn't leave the isolation room and if he were to slip away they might take their frustration out on her. Hell, even stray shots or ricochets ran the risk of damaging the antechamber. No, he wasn't going anywhere. His best chance was to run out the clock on whatever deal the Exterminator had made. Security wouldn't be able to ignore gunfire for long. He just needed to buy time.

Suddenly, a low hum signaled to Shepard that a biotic Singularity was forming. He jammed one knee into the crevice between the planter and the wall. He gripped the lip of the planter with his free hand and braced his pistol against the planter. Even so, if not for his enhanced strength he would have been ripped loose into the swirling gravity well of the Singularity. Shepard glanced down the hallway and saw that the damned Human had his arm extended, creating and maintaining the biotic attack. Shepard, barely holding his own against the gravitational forces, had no hope of aiming and hitting anything. The thugs seemed to recognize this and began approaching up the hallway, weapons aimed to fire the moment Shepard was forced into view.

Shepard watched as the shredded remnants of the greenery were pulled from the planter to whirl about the Singularity. Clumps of packed dirt followed. Shepard braced himself against the planter and exerted his considerable strength to shake it, loosening the packed dirt that had been mostly resisting the Singularity. As the thugs drew close enough to potentially fire, the dirt suddenly broke into clods that were sucked into the Singularity. Within seconds the shifting gravitational forces ripped the clods apart until, in mere seconds, the dirt in the gravity well was as thick as a Tuchanka sand storm, dropping visibility to zero. Shepard wasn't finished. He calculated the thugs would need a few moments to decide how to react to this sudden change in circumstances, moments he did not intend to give them. Shepard released his hold on the planter, riding the swirling gravitational field in an arc toward its creator. As he passed next to the far wall he pushed off toward the outer edge of the field near the ceiling.

Shepard passed in an arc along the outer edge of the gravity well near the ceiling. The thugs came into view, clearly still focused on where he had been gripping the planter. Much like him, they were forced to function without armor, but the human had the telltale purple glow of a biotic Barrier. As Shepard came into view they both recognized what had occurred, but only had time to look stupidly at Shepard's aimed pistol. Shepard focused on the biotic. It took two shots before his Barrier collapsed. As Shepard was pulled back into the swirl of dirt, he carefully placed a third shot straight through the Human's left eye.

Almost immediately, Shepard felt the Singularity begin to waver. He reached the far wall a second time and pushed off strongly as the field collapsed entirely. As the dirt rained to the ground Shepard rolled forward toward the cover of the next planter closer to his foes. The Turian was retreating back down the hallway. As Shepard came into view again he fired his submachine gun wildly. Shepard felt a sharp pain in his calf as he completed his roll into cover. He fired a blind shot over the planter toward the Turian to make sure he finished his retreat, then switched out for one of his two fresh thermal clips. The calf wound didn't seem bad, so he applied pressure to stanch any bleeding. He still needed to kill time more than enemies.

That thought changed in the next moment. "Very impressive, Shepard. That was quite dramatic."

Shepard had never heard the voice before, but believed this couldn't possibly be anybody but the Exterminator. His voice, it was a male voice, was coming from the same area where Shepard had seen the thugs come from the elevator.

"It's easier to be impressive when your opponents are sub-standard. Where did you find these second rate thugs? I'm guessing they're mercenaries that you had to hire on short notice. Do they know how many of your men have died for you today?" Shepard hoped to rattle whatever thugs had been hired. He expected that wouldn't work with the Exterminator himself.

"Well, you know what they say about good help. But what mercenary wouldn't like to be able to brag about taking down the great Commander Shepard. Besides, I think they're doing a wonderful job. Just look at you. Cowering behind a shrubbery. Reduced to taking potshots while we can do this." The statement was punctuated by a barrage of submachine gun fire that shredded a second set of plants. Shepard was grateful he had been able to move forward from the door to Tali's room.

"Nice shooting if you're paying these fools to execute houseplants. I can wait here all day, but I bet you can't. How much time do you think your bribes and threats can buy you when we're shooting up a hospital?"

"As much as is needed, Commander. We've both been playing that game. Manipulating where we could, bribing where we had to. Pushing right up to the edge of the law without stepping across it. I'm just much better at it than you are."

"Then why are you the one with a wrecked house and dead lackeys?"

"Oh, credit where it's due, Commander. You have cost me more than I would like to admit, in time and money. But I think you're reputation is overrated. It seems to me most of your success comes from luck and choosing opponents that underestimate you or make stupid mistakes."

"No doubt true. You've certainly made plenty of mistakes today. I think they might be about to catch up with you."

"Perhaps. But I suspect all my losses will be more than made up when I deliver you to the Shadow Broker."

Shit, Shepard thought to himself. He should have considered that the Exterminator could have ulterior motives beyond killing Liara. Points to him.

"You didn't realize that, did you Shepard. The Shadow Broker could have Doctor T'Soni eliminated any time he chooses. He has chosen not to because of the purposes she can still serve. You, on the other hand, are much more valuable and more unpredictable in your movements. Did you really think your value had ceased after the Shadow Broker failed to obtain your corpse? You, or more specifically your dead body, are very valuable to the Shadow Broker, and therefore to me."

"But if your trap had worked you would have blown me to bits. How does that serve your purposes?"

"As I understand it, the Collectors were willing to pay a high price for your body after it fell from orbit over Alchera. I don't imagine they would be particularly put out by something as simple as explosive body disruption."

Shit, Shit, Shit, Shepard thought over and over again. His head really hadn't been in the game. Why would he think the Collector's would stop looking for him, would stop being willing to pay for his corpse just because Cerberus rebuilt him? If anything, after his recent activities to interfere with their abduction of colonies, they likely wanted him even more. Whatever the Shadow Broker was going to get for his corpse, it was likely impressive.

"What? No more clever banter, Shepard? I have to say, I really misjudged you in one way. I knew that if Doctor T'Soni called, you would come running to a place of my choosing. But then you disappeared. I was sure, given your relationship, that after I eluded you at my home you would rush to protect her. I waited hours for you to show up at her hiding place so I could end this, but you never showed. Don't tell me things have run dry for the two of you. Couldn't keep her satisfied? I hear Asari can be quite insatiable."

Shepard sat and refused to rise to the bait. He could visualize the Exterminator running through a checklist of taunts, trying to get a rise out of him. Trying to make him do something stupid. Challenge his abilities? Check. Surprise him with a new piece of information? Check. Question his manhood? Check. Shepard was willing to engage in this pointless banter, even get his ass kicked verbally, if it meant more time passed. No matter how nonchalant the Exterminator sounded, his time had to be running out. Shepard hunkered down between the planters and counted the seconds.

"But here you are at this hospital. You've been here for hours. Maybe it isn't that your ardor has cooled. Maybe it's just shifted. The way that little Quarian threw herself in front of you, that was more than just loyalty, wasn't it? What was going on for all that time in her room, eh? Were you testing the limits of her immune system?"

Shepard made his first real misstep of the exchange. He reacted. The Exterminator had found a soft spot that Shepard himself had not fully recognized was there. He called back to the Exterminator, his voice a little too strident, "Why don't you just shut up and wait quietly for the authorities to come and put you down?"

Shepard could almost hear the smirk in the Exterminator's voice. "As I said, we have time. It makes me want to consider all the ways I could pass that time with your little Quarian. And when I'm done, there are so many ways to kill a Quarian, so many weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I'm like a kid in a candy store thinking about it."

Shepard knew better. He knew what was happening, what the Exterminator was doing. Even as his brain screamed at him to stay down, he found himself leaning out, screaming at the Exterminator to shut up, wanting to punctuate that demand with gunfire rather than exclamation points. Shepard leaned out to fire a few rounds in the direction of the Exterminator. He wanted to see those rounds blow his disgusting head off. Shepard cursed himself as he felt a sharp sting in the back of his right shoulder.

The shot had come from behind him. Shepard had exposed his back when he had leaned out to fire at where he thought the Exterminator was located. His muscles almost immediately locked up, paralyzing him. He crumpled to the ground, falling into the corridor, exposed.

Shepard watched as the Exterminator emerged from the emergency stairwell, behind where he had taken cover. As he approached Shepard, he held his omni-tool up to his mouth. The Exterminator's voice came from the opposite end of the hallway, from the area by the elevator. "Not bad, huh? You showed a penchant for misdirection when you attacked me. I thought I should return the favor. The poison paralyzing you right now is only temporary, thirty seconds or so. Not nearly as impressive as what would have occurred had my earlier shot been on target."

Shepard watched as the Exterminator stopped several feet away, in front of the door to the antechamber to Tali's room. He was a balding, somewhat overweight Human. He reminded Shepard of a middle school teacher, non-descript, unimposing, except for the Carnifex pistol he was leveling at Shepard's head. Shepard needed to move, needed to do something immediately. He struggled with every bit of this strength. He managed a twitch of his fingers, a spasm of his leg. Not enough. A few more seconds and he might be able to defend himself, but he didn't have a few more seconds. The Exterminator was going to end his life, but it was his own stupidity that truly killed him. He spent his last few seconds willing that Tali would not also pay the price for his failure.

There was a loud report and the Exterminator's balding head vanished in a spray of shattered glass and gore. His now headless body fell between the planters that had previously sheltered Shepard. Whatever the Exterminator's mercenaries were thinking and doing, enough time passed that Shepard was able to drag himself back into cover. A few more seconds and he was able to fire two rounds down the hallway. The message was clear. There's no reward here, only risk. Run away, now.

Shepard saw the light from the stairway as the door opened and closed. He waited a few seconds, but there was no sound, no indication anyone remained. And why would they? The Exterminator was dead. Killed by the 'little Quarian'. Shepard looked up at the door to Tali's room. The window to the hallway was shattered outward. He stiffly dragged himself to his feet and walked to the window, keeping an eye down the hallway in case he was wrong about the mercenaries. "It's me, Tali, it's Shepard. Everything is okay."

He looked in the window to the antechamber and found himself looking down the barrel of Tali's Eviscerator shotgun. "Whoa, Tali, it's me!" She immediately raised the shotgun to point at the ceiling. Shepard could see the discarded flower box that he had used to smuggle her the weapon. At the time he had only intended it as a means to comfort her, to reduce her sense of vulnerability. It was probably the only truly smart thing he had managed to do the whole day.

"Keelah, Shepard, I'm sorry. I think I'm deaf. Normally my helmet would dampen loud noises, but…" She let that trail off to its obvious conclusion as she rubbed her ear with her free hand.

Shepard just stared at her. She stood there, shotgun in hand, sheet wrapped around her torso, shoulder bandaged, rubbing her ears. And she was so, so beautiful. "Thank you, Tali. You just saved my life again. But, wait!" Shepard was suddenly filled with worry. "The window is broken, you'll get sick. Get back into the clean room and I'll get the doctors!"

Tali just cocked her head and smiled. "Oh, Shepard. You really don't know anything about clean rooms, do you? They use positive air pressure to prevent most contaminants from entering any breach. I'll be okay, though I shouldn't stay out here long." She took a step closer to the broken window, looking out at him and smiling.

Shepard held his hand up to the window. He could feel the slight push of air from the room. If he closed his eyes he was sure he could smell her scent. She raised her hand to match his, three fingers to his five. They were separated by those few unbreachable inches, so close to touching. "You are a wonder, Tali. Please, for my sake, go back into the room. Finish recovering. Firing that shotgun couldn't have been good for your shoulder."

"Fortunately, I'm right-handed. But you're right. I definitely need some more rest. At least the ringing in my ears is fading."

"Rest, I promise I'm not going anywhere without you. When you are up to it, we'll have that talk."

Suddenly, hospital security burst onto the floor from both ends of the hallway. Shepard immediately dropped his pistol and raised his hands in the air in the universal sign of surrender. "Hold on, Tali. I think this is going to take a bit of explaining."

* * *

Shepard had been correct about his issues with the various Nos Astra institutions. With the death of the Exterminator the paperwork problems with the Normandy were suddenly resolved. Liara gained a significant boost to her power and respect within the information community and she did not hesitate to take advantage of it. Shepard barely saw her following the incident in the hospital, but she was able to draw on her suddenly more robust resources to direct Shepard to two of the individuals identified for recruitment by The Illusive Man. Shepard had to laugh when he recruited Thane, the Drell assassin. He couldn't help thinking how helpful it would have been to have his knowledge in combatting the Exterminator. Once Shepard helped her with a small problem, the Asari Justicar, Samara, was eager to assist Shepard. She made it clear she respected his honor and resilience.

Circumstances kept Shepard and Tali from finding that time to talk about the feelings for each other they were discovering. Shepard intended to change that once they departed Ilium. Shortly before departing from the planet, Shepard was surprised by a visit from Liara. He was even more surprised that he really had not thought about her since confirming she was safe after the defeat of the Exterminator.

"Shepard. I'm so sorry about being distracted since you arrived. First I had to stay in hiding, then the death of the Exterminator opened up new opportunities that I had to take advantage of. I know I've been…distant, since you returned. I wanted to see if it was still possible to make up for that."

Shepard looked at Liara and saw a friend. His heart stayed firmly in his chest, beating normally. His stomach was remarkably insect free. "That would be pleasant, Liara, but I don't think possible. I understand now why you've been so busy. You've got your priorities, your challenges. If there is ever any way I can help you, I will. But I've got my own priorities as well. I've come to accept that they no longer overlap with yours. I need to see to some further details before we leave, but I did want to thank you for directing me to the two individuals I needed to find. I think they will be very helpful to my mission. Oh, and I wanted to thank you for paying our docking fees. We had a bit more overhead than I expected this trip."

Liara leaned in and kissed Shepard on the cheek. "You are welcome for the help finding your recruits, Shepard, but I didn't pay your docking fees."

"What? If you didn't, then who took care of our fees?"

"I inquired about paying the fees, Shepard, but I was told they had already been paid. By one Tali'Zorah vas Normandy."

Shepard was baffled. "That can't be right. I don't think Tali has that kind of money. Does she?"

"I'm not the one to ask, Shepard. It sounds like you and Tali have some things to discuss. I wish you well, Goddess protect you." Liara looked wistfully at Shepard a moment longer before turning and vanishing into the Nos Astra crowds.

Shepard turned and approached the docking ramp of the Normandy. As he went to board the ship he was met by Kelly Chambers. "Commander Shepard. I was looking for you. You've been so busy I haven't had a chance to check how your were doing with the issue we discussed a few days ago."

"Thanks for following up, Yeoman. I think I am feeling better. Liara has a different life than she did two years ago and I'm simply not a part of that life. That still hurts, but the pain is fading. We all have to move on or just be stuck. My turn to move on as well."

"I couldn't agree more, Commander. I had a wonderful chat with your friend, Tali. She's not what I expected from her psych report. I like her."

"Tali's a good friend. We've been through a lot together." Shepard smiled to himself. He was feeling like both of those may have been understatements.

"I have to say, Shepard, my female intuition says she wants to be more than just good friends."

Shepard chuckled. "I've realized that there might be some chemistry there." He thought Tali had come to that realization as well.

"There is. It's in her body language. How she turns to you when you enter the room. How she watches your every move."

Shepard got the impression that his Yeoman thought she was telling him something of which he was unaware. No matter. Not so long ago she would have been right. "That is something to think about, Yeoman Chambers." Shepard became serious for a moment. "Could you really see me and Tali together?"

"I could, Commander. Passion, maybe more, is desirable where you find it. If you can make each other happy then why not?"

"Thank you, Yeoman. You've been very thoughtful and caring. I'll think about what you've said." Shepard walked away with a smile on his face.

Kelly Chambers had a smile as well, of a different sort. When her sources had informed her that Tali had nearly sacrificed herself for Shepard, she had realized how useful a romance between the two of them could be. To control Shepard she would need to bring him low, and his heart was his most vulnerable point. She had nearly gained what she wanted, what The Illusive Man wanted, when he was distraught over his relationship with Liara. But she had failed and Shepard had pushed her away. She had regained favor with a veneer of professionalism. If she could have a hand, even in a small way, in helping him find happiness, then she would be in his confidence. Positioned to help lift him up in order to bring him low once again. To create the vulnerability that would become control. In her opinion, any relationship with Tali was doomed. Tali was committed to her people. Everything in her psych profile confirmed this. At some point she would return to them, a place Shepard could not possibly stay, no matter how friendly the Quarians were with him. Tali would leave him and he would be crushed. Or…perhaps even better, she would die trying to help him in his mission. Quarians were so vulnerable in so many ways. Illness, food incompatibility, suit damage. If Tali were killed trying to help Shepard, he would tear himself apart with guilt. And she would be there to pick up the pieces, maybe even worm her way back into his heart herself. As she reentered the ship she couldn't help whistling to herself. The Illusive Man would be pleased.

* * *

As the Normandy left the atmosphere of Ilium, Shepard sat in his quarters sorting through the plethora of e-mails that had arrived during his time on Ilium. He was just deleting the e-mail from the Quarian prince who needed credits to reclaim his lost colony from the Geth when there was a chime at his door. "Come in", Shepard said over the intercom.

Tali entered the room. Shepard stood up from his chair at her unexpected visit. He had intended to visit her at her usual station in engineering once he finished his sorting. "Tali, it's so good to see you. Please, come in, have a seat." Shepard gestured to the conversation pit just beyond his work area.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I can't stay to talk right now. I have too many duties in engineering with our departure. I just wanted to stop by and see if I could keep these in your cabin." In one hand Tali was holding the plastic bouquet that Shepard had given her as she lay in the Nos Astra hospital.

Shepard felt slightly hurt. "You don't want to keep them with you in engineering? I thought you might like to have them as a reminder."

"Oh, no, Shepard. Please don't get me wrong. I love them so, so much. That's actually the problem. I was finding them very distracting to have where I'm working. I kept finding myself…daydreaming. And I kept thinking something was going to ruin them. I would hate for anything to happen to them. If they're up here then I know they're safe. And maybe I could come to see them every now and then?"

At that moment, Shepard couldn't think of anything he wanted more. "Tali, you are welcome to come up and visit whenever you want. I would look forward to it. If keeping your flowers here helps to ensure that, then I will keep them here gladly. What is it you have there?"

Shepard was looking at the transparent bag she was holding in her other hand. Something within the bag moved. "Oh. I wanted to give you a gift. You gave me these beautiful flowers. I wanted to give you something beautiful." Shepard pictured her face as she said those words and could not help but think she already had. "It's a Prejek Paddle Fish. I was talking with Kelly Chambers and she told me about how she feeds your fish. I thought this would be a nice addition to your aquarium."

"Thank you, Tali. I'll see that it gets transferred safely." Shepard squinted slightly in thought. "You know, that reminds me Tali. I spoke to Liara as we were preparing to leave. She told me she had intended to pay our docking fees, but that you had already paid them. Paying the docking fees, the fish, what exactly is going on?"

Tali shifted, seeming a bit, uncomfortable? Embarrassed? "Well, do you remember Shepard when you were talking to Liara from her office shortly after we arrived on Ilium?" Shepard did remember that conversation. It had been particularly painful and embarrassing at the time, hard to forget. "When Liara was talking to you she mentioned that the Nos Astra casinos were offering odds on how long she would survive. You wouldn't believe what the odds were on the Exterminator being killed. I used my omni-tool to access the betting and placed a bet before word of your arrival affected the odds. Let's just say that a small bet led to some impressive winnings. I'm Tali'Zorah _vas Normandy_. This is my ship and you're my captain. It felt right that I was able to pay our docking fees."

"Hah. You were betting we would take down the Exterminator."

"I was betting on _us_ , Shepard. When we've faced things together the odds have never mattered. We can take on the universe, together." Tali glanced at her omni-tool. I have to get back to my duties, Shepard, but I haven't forgotten our promise to talk about that last part." She turned and walked toward the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, pausing for a moment. "You know, the together part." She turned and disappeared through the door.

Shepard stood dumbfounded for a moment, but only for a moment. He let his heart lead this time. It was doing so much better a job than his head. And it was his heart that demanded he follow her now, share what he was feeling and consequences be damned. He was out the door and on his way to engineering bare seconds later, his heart pounding in his throat and his stomach a kaleidoscope of butterflies.

END

* * *

Huzzah. I hope people enjoyed this. Thank you to anyone and everyone who took the time to read it and health and happiness to you all.


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